Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
This story is old, but I started acting overseas at a young age. I was discovered at the bumper cars by a German woman scouting a movie and I ended up being called in and getting a small role. I played the best friend of the cheerleader. Ironically, I seemed to reincarnate this “friend of the cheerleader” role many times in my future. Now, I think I’m too long in the tooth at this point to do any high kicks, but it certainly did last a long time. I still do a movie or two a year. I did one last year, that ended up in a film festival. Acting is always fun. But, I think I like to connect with audience even more.
When I look back on pictures like this, it makes me feel like I am performing. While I am more comfortable giving a speech, being on stage and in front of the camera in general—I am looking to do so in a way that is meaningful. I have been building up my credentials in ways that would allow me to serve, and continue to help others. I like to think of the world as a stage. A very big one.
When I think of all the things I’ve been through, it only makes sense to share the ways that God and has changed me. In the past I was overly emotional, quick to assume, and often looking for love in the wrong places. I had many wounds that I allowed other people to reopen and today I have strong barriers and zero codependency. If anything I love this newfound freedom. I’d never go back. In my opinion feebleness and desperation aren’t the best energy for the stage. However a love filled person is.
Today, I have acquired quite a few bumps and bruises, but I feel more alive and connected than I ever have. I feel secure and even surrendered to the wondrous places life can take me.
I know this is a bit far off into my future, but I actually think of how I’d be as a grandmother. I look forward to sharing all of the crazy things I experienced while baking some pretty tasty cookies. These days I have learned that it truly isn’t how you started, it’s how you keep on going.
When I get back on anyone’s stage, I’ll share that.
Always remember that life is a stage, you are the star, keep on keeping on—show em who you are!
All of my endeavors have been in the realm of publishing. Within the realm of media you have the ability to touch upon many topics. I began my first newspaper while living in Ft. Riley, KS. I was in the fifth grade, and we all sat at a four-top table with me at the head giving out the writing assignments. I remember calling one of my friends on the phone over the weekend to see if they would bring their pages in on Monday so we could staple the newspaper together. She told me that she may not be able to because she only had pens at home. Maybe we only could use pencil. I’m not sure, but that’s a memory that still speaks to me.
It was all so simple then. When you wanted to get something started, you just did it. In fourth grade, I used to love the Babysitter’s Club series and decided I wanted to start my own. So, I made the flyer. My mom made copies, and I put them in my small neighborhood on the military base. I babysat two times. I was actually a bit nervous so it didn’t last long, but I liked getting paid. I liked knowing that I could start something and just go do it.
Today we have so much red tape. We are discouraged before we start. I think because we are thinking in the “middling” space. See, big dreams need lots of people. Small dreams can become big dreams, but they need fewer people to start.
In the middle you often get tripped up and therein lies the problem. You also have people with bigger voices coming to take the food from the small fish, but as a highly intuitive empath, I am here to let you know—that time has come to a halt.
No longer will you, your ideas, and your freedom of expression will become engulfed by people that will use your vulnerabilities against you, especially for profit. There is a shift in the atmosphere.
James 3:3, in the English Standard Bible, talks about the “bit in the horse’s mouth used to steer him.” To me, I read that as the power of spirit being able to use an individual to do a good work. This same spirit calling a people who believe on faith, in humanity, and the goodness of their fellow man and woman to speak a truth that will continue to balance the scales. This is a powerful thing. It is also a truth that speaks to how David was able to overtake Goliath. See, freedom of speech is a slippery slope but it also has its confines, or it should. Unmitigated freedom of speech, that operates outside of the civility for which it was intended—is incendiary and dangerous. Yet, with the “bit” in our mouths and the roots of truth as our foundation—then the truth becomes the power. True is Power because like a math equation it largely follows a pattern. If you go forward and contextualize truth as unemotional facts, they become easier to work with and then bring forth new emotions.
Free speech should to some degree should stop at actions. If harmful actions follow words, then we have work to do when it comes to educating the public how to discern and respond to information.
With or without permission, the choice and the ability to rewrite your story and to exist in a world where you feel validated and seen comes from the bottom up. Not the top down. Freedom was bestowed on you at birth but the noise of the world will force you to fumble.
At the end of the day it should be family first. Safety first and honoring the divine call that resides over the lives of us all. My work with The House of Maryam is a passion. It is an inter religious endeavor that centers peace, resource management, and sacred living practices that will actually save lots of families and individuals. Peaceful religious freedom and expression is not only a must, it is needed. The Maryam is seen in many ways throughout many traditions but the mother figure as a whole is constant. Yet even that constant is nuanced. This isn’t about being kissy-face and pinching cheeks this is a matriarchal call. To be a matriarch is not about money, she is the stability of the family. She is the lighthouse and standard bearer of the generation. When the matriarch passes she becomes the ancestor we call upon.
Matriarchs and patriarchs are the leaders of our world and they grow into position. We need a nation of individuals that ok with cultivating wisdom and becoming those people who are able to give wise counsel. Therefore we need our minds, our choices and our voices to be free. Let the voice of reason and truth be the unifier. Let common sense and empowerment be the unifier—not solely your pain. Trouble doesn’t last always but your progeny and your legacy will.
You may not be strong enough to do this today. But you will grow into it. You will respect every aspect of your life because your imprint will be on it. To me, that’s how you rewrite the story. You rewrite it together, throwing out the old wine and braking down the old vessel and making room for the new.
I dream of a New America. Where someone is not constantly telling me what to do. Where even if I am wrong, I can die knowing that I have the tools to think for myself. I have the wisdom to know that I can better myself or someone can lead me to that notion. But I will no longer sit in the passenger seat of my own life.
Peace be with you.
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I remember the first time I got married, and the very exciting yet awkward day after. Although there hasn’t been a second time yet, I like to think of the first time. Before I’d gotten married I thought that there was something major that happened in order to get there. Basically, you can say “I do,” and head on out to Chick-fil-A if you wanted to. It’s really that simple, you just need to complete the paperwork. Although my mother and stepfather had been married for 20 years, I had no inside track on the mechanics of a relationship. In fact, their marriage was sadly ending, as mine was beginning. Fortunately, they remain good friends.
I am a person that is wired for optimism. I am always hopeful and full of belief that someone or somewhere out there, things will look up for us all. I write these things, while existing in some challenging times in my own life–but I still believe in the promises of goodness. I believe them even more today when I see the miracle of compassion that has been transforming on the inside of me.
The first time I got married it was at a bed and breakfast in Baltimore County. It was a small wedding, and the wedding package included a honeymoon suite with a ginormous hot tub. This was a shotgun wedding from the standpoint of me being three months pregnant. But, we knew at the time we wanted to get married. By the time we got to that room after saying “I do” something strange happened. I felt like I was looking at my husband for the first time, and I also felt like I had married someone else’s husband. The latter is a feeling I never was able to shake. Now that I am fully invested in healing work, spiritual education, and the practical and sacred spiritual life of women and families–I understand these thoughts often have legitimacy. Also, for the sake of this conversation, we should understand that some ties are spiritual, not necessarily physical. However, the day after my wedding I was expecting to do something. I felt like I should be doing something, when what I needed to be was still. I never quite shook that feeling either. I believe that comes from lack of understanding of womanhood, and a practical understanding of the spiritual nature of the male and female relationship.
I have often said that, the ministry of mom is very different than the ministry of wife. Unfortunately, they don’t often mesh well at the same time. This is often why relationships end in divorce during those stressful toddler years. A person can’t serve two masters. This is even sometimes why a second marriage may prove more successful than the first, because the stressors may not be there. However, I know that within some communities, there is still lots of work that needs to be done when it comes to positively building relationships not built on dogma or trauma. My love mantra for anyone is, be with whoever is the best fit for you. Whoever gives you the peace you desire, whoever makes you feel seen and accepted, whoever feels like they are for you and not against you–make your allegiance to that person. Cultivate a safe haven of happiness for yourself. Don’t suffer in silence.
In 2019, I actually stopped gossiping and denounced Babylon. For me, that simply meant living by truth, not by a lie. When I stopped gossiping, just about everyone I knew fell off. I never said, “I don’t gossip” I just stopped or changed the subject. Additionally the ringing of my phone also stopped. No one close to me took that proclamation seriously, and that’s okay. It was a hard right turn onto a path that would ultimately pave the way for my life’s purpose. Here I am today, five years later, still on my journey. As a woman who also considers herself to be a divine feminine, not in the sense of popular culture, but as one close to the will of my Creator. For me, divinity works from the inside to the outside. When I am called to shift an environment, or embody the spirit of the Proverbs 31 woman, while still being who I am in the world, that comes from spiritual discipline. Life is going to life, and it has taken a long time to become the steady boat on rocky waters.
The work within me is not over. It will never be over until I take my last breath. I know at any moment, I can be a mess, but I bounce back very quickly. See, I have come a long way from needing validation like I did on day one of my wedding night. I wanted to be a perfect wife out the gate and that desire caused me to often fall short of that goal. We can’t make smart decisions and choices in desperation.
Someone recently said to me, “never let anyone take away your shine.” I pass that on to you. We are designed to be the light of the world and therefore we need to make our main love a vertical love first. When that love is addressed, you will have what you need to face the day. With that understanding, you won’t feel a desire to be anything other than joy, peace, love and sometimes enraged if it comes to that. But, you will sure bounce back as long as you are connected to the Light and maintaining that shine. Looking back on the innocence of my first day of my marriage it makes me smile. It was a moment of firsts that can’t be replicated and I look on it fondly. I was 100% open, innocent, and believing. Through out the tough times, I like to reach back for that hopeful woman and continue to bring the beauty of her heart forward. You should try that too.
If you would like a nice mediation music to bring peace to your day, here is one to help heal those memories and wounds.
What is one thing you would change about yourself?
There is really only one thing I would change about myself and it revolves around my loyalties. Throughout my life I have struggled with engaging in relationships, and even jobs until the point of catastrophe. Although I know that after every catastrophe of some kind immediate blessing appears after, I still seem to take my time making decisions. That’s because if there’s a catastrophic moment allowed to enter my life, I know it’s for a reason.
Life Is Too Short Too Be Unhappy, Is it?
I wrote an article about life decisions the other day and posted it on Nextdoor, and someone commented that life was too short to be unhappy. I remember thinking is that true? In my mind that is an oversimplistic way of looking at life. Think about it, just because you rid yourself of one area of unhappiness doesn’t mean that another is not going to pop up later down the line. Unhappiness, just like happiness, is forever. Ultimately happiness is a choice and it is controlled by you. Now, there are situations where people can disrupt and systematically try to dismantle your happiness and decisions need to be made about it. All the decisions involve a level of detachment, and that is where my pontification comes in. When is it time to reconsider your loyalties and embark on the next phase of your journey? For the most part, life tends to move along for me from glory to glory. However, in the rare moments when tragedy hits, I know it’s time get off the fence. When my steady boat threatens to capsize, I know the only thing that will get me through is faith and loyalty to whatever I hear from God.
This past year my spiritual journey has unearthed a lot about my strengths and weaknesses. It allowed me to see how I put others before myself, and how they would like to see me put myself first. Believe it or not, I have put myself first but it still looks like putting other people first at times. In many ways, that’s most of us–we are simply caring individuals. Maybe that’s just how my life is designed. I am created to inspire.
In the past I allowed so many people to keep the energy and gift of inspiration in small group. But, I noticed that my spirit was calling me out the group. I was feeling a desire to spread my own wings and fly. I believed then, and still believe now, that all things ultimately work for my good. Even in the toughest of times and sometimes especially in the toughest of times. Like you, I’m a person that at one moment I think I have a part of my journey that is so compelling than another thing hits me before I can even tell how I was delivered from my past. Through it all, the worst thing has been meeting so many emotional vampires– but I now know that I’m the only one with the power to change that trajectory. The change comes with the consideration of my loyalties. Wherever I go, I take the crux of who I am with me, because it belongs to me. Just as the essence of you belongs to you, and you can always call back your power when necessary.
Loyal To God
This past year has caused me to rise up in my life and take the drivers wheel in a firm way. It was initiated by a consecration I did to The Virgin Mary last year. After I completed this consecration, I began to see life with new eyes. I saw that due to my rose colored glasses I was missing a lot of important things in life. I was missing important moments. I was missing hidden truths, and I was missing myself. When we are loyal to God we get the ultimate gift of being reconciled with spirit and with ourselves. It is a level of divinity that brings about continued happiness.
When I reflect on 2024, that will be my greatest gift, that of spiritual growth and finding myself again. It has been a journey of discovering all the things I love, and removing all the things I can live without.
Loyalty to the wrongs things, and to severely broken things, can cause you to become despondent and stagnant. I don’t think that is God’s best for our lives. I remember going through a great deal of emotional stress that caused me to shut down and become numb. Numbness is one of the worst things you can feel. Especially if you are like me and you understand that life is a gift. Going numb is dangerous. Thankfully I am not numb today, yoga and art helped a lot with that. But the interesting thing about that time is I had a memory that crossed my mind like a beam of light. I had a memory of eating pizza with my friends. It had been so long since I’d done anything fun that the memory of me having fun was lost. I know that is a direct correlation to negative soul ties and negative relationships.
For many Christians we take a lot. There is a false teaching somewhere that makes it seem like we need to be the wastelands of the lost and it’s not true. When God says he cares, you are counted in that grace. You are designed for glory and happiness. The thing I had to retrain myself to remember is that God is the savior, not me. My job is to keep my soul in alignment to my calling and pray for others on theirs.
You may say, what if I am married to that person? I’d say especially if you are married to that person. You need to pray for them, but your loyalty is to whatever He is calling you to do. Too often in our lives we are tied to situations we should have never been in because we leaned into our own understanding then we need God to get us out.
If you are called to move across country, start a new endeavor, leave a friend or family member behind —be obedient. If you are called to stay, do that too. Obedience is always better than the false sacrifices we tend to make. Sometimes loyalty has an end and possibly a new beginning. For me, I have undergone such a significant spiritual change that I no longer resonate with a great many things. It’s now time to make new plans, alliances, dreams, and memories. Not out hate for the past, or a lack of loyalty but out of a hunger for the future and a renewed relationship with God.
So when anyone asks where my loyalties lie, there’s your answer.
Growing up I was very impulsive. Like hop in cars and on planes on a whim, and even down to get engaged because: I-felt -like it–impulsive. Looking back, I never really had a bunch of regrets because I was so caught up in the moment. Which can be good. Living in the moment is a constant reminder that today is really the only day that’s promised and so you live it full out. I tend to believe I was always following my heart and passions and that my gut checks were largely right. I have no regrets when I look back on life. It was definitely full force ahead.
Well, I did have my blind spots. The only place I never seem to follow my instincts full out is when it comes to love. You know that reckless abandon that makes you want to run towards someone and never look back? Yeah, that’s always been scary for me. I mean, what if I fall in love myself? Kind of like what ended up happening over and over any way–but that’s another story for another time.
I think the best relationships don’t worry about the fall out, or maybe they do worry about it and don’t care, either way it’s a gamble. You never can tell what’ll happen on the crazy, sexy, outrageous train of love.
There is another side to making strange gut decisions, and that is feeling something and ignoring it. How many times, have you felt like,” this person is sooo perfect. Wait, no they’re too perfect…let me check out someone a bit more flawed or familiar?” That’s actually trauma. That’s an unhealed area of life and maybe even a revelation on allowing television and social media to shape your relationships.
The correct choice was probably the person that you may have had to take a leap of faith with. Maybe they weren’t that exciting but they made you laugh or they studied you intently when you spoke. Maybe they were the person that made you lose track of time, or you feel safe, when you’re used to feeling reckless.
Or when it comes to love and relationships you can be so detached from your sacral and root chakras, and detached from the truth of who you are, and what you want, that you decide to just date someone’s resume. That way, you know you won’t make a mistake. It’s a quiet kept secret but men do this too. They often go towards someone’s resume and what their parents want and fully ignore what makes they happy. Later on down the line they find themselves suffering in silence over the one that got away.
“Reflections of You” (2021) Korean Drama
That kind of love that has your stomach twisted in knots, but is forbidden on so many levels, is depicted so well in the Korean drama “Reflections of You”. I have never seen two people look so miserable apart, and while one stays attached to the one he was loyal to from the beginning and the other lives her best painter life but has an empty marriage, it is an ongoing cat-and-mouse chase of self-denial and unnecessary hell. They both could have kept their smiles and become the artists they were born to be had they simply stayed together. But loyalty called them both, and they paid for it royally. Don’t get me wrong I would done the same thing and have done the same thing, but we are looking at the road less travelled during the road to reconstructing the self.
It’s a position where you have to ask yourself what is more important: instinct or loyalty? It’s a difference between the devil you know and the devil you don’t know.
Needless to say, if this was a easy cut and dry topic, there wouldn’t be so many relationship podcasts out there pondering the subject. Following your instincts are for those who are willing to take big risks for a big reward. Oftentimes, it calls for going against tradition and even coming up against naysayers. What would you do? Do you often follow your instincts? Or do you follow them in some instances and not in others?
My goal for life going forward is to take on the courage of my spiritual guides and advisors. I plan to go big or go home. I may seem to be taking baby steps, but in my mind I am leaping forward. How about you?
I love the month of November. It’s generally the time when the leaves begin to change color and thoughts of the holidays dance around in our minds. I especially love Thanksgiving. Over the last decade I have significantly scaled down my festivities. I did this for various reasons. One, I needed to in order to reconnect to the true meaning of the holiday which is to , not outdo my family members in the kitchen, but to enjoy the day and have a good meal. Two, I really started to order in takeout. Ordering in takeout on Thanksgiving has been a game changer for me. No more stressing about picky eaters or anti-social family members. I can grab what everyone wants, lay it out, then relax, For those of us that cook, it can be a stressful time. But, not when you order in. The only thing that’s missing is that certain, je nais se quois, that’s the love of a homecooked meal.
November is also a spiritual month as well. It is as perfect time to remember those family and friends that are no longer with us. It’s also a time to remember that, the most important aspect of the holidays is love. Just being with people you care about is a blessing, in my opinion. There are people that do not have anyone to spend time with on the holidays. Others don’t like their choices and would rather just be alone. Politics have been particularly stressful and people have allowed the media to separate them on a difference of opinion. I will admit, I will permanently look at some people differently after the way that acted this past year. It could never be the same. This last political cycle, especially for those with money and jobs on the line, showed a whole side of themselves that needed to be kept locked away. At this point, the grins and handshakes are tenuous,—I’d only break bread with one eye open. On the flip side, there is a certain strength and resolve that has arisen from remaining true to oneself during this season. But, I won’t judge you if protecting your peace is far more important than anything else. There’s nothing wrong with spending it alone, but there are other ways to do it. For example, you can start a Friendsgiving tradition.
Some of my best days around the holiday were spent with my friends. However, I personally like to go home during Thanksgiving or even host because it’s the one time of year I make and indulge in the world famous Patti Labelle Mac and Cheese. If you haven’t had it, I highly recommend it. You’ll sleep like a baby afterward.
November is the month that’s considered the quiet before the storm. It’s the time to rest, rejuvenate, and prepare for the year ahead. It’s been a busy year, why not take a break and wind down? This month, I am getting a new arsenal of board games to play with my kids, I am getting back into reading and overall, I am simply meditating and enjoying the changes in the weather. I won’t be doing a lot of holiday parties this year either. I’ve really been in my solo vibe and it has been an experience all its own. I love it. If you haven’t had that time in life where it’s just you and God, I highly recommend it. It’s life changing. It will open spiritual doors that no one can shut and rearrange the way you see yourself, others, and life. Who knows what next year will bring, but this year, I started with love and I will end on the same note.
Over the past two years I’ve started a feather collection. It’s not huge but it does have some pretty nice and unique feathers in it. I love collecting feathers of different varieties. For me, they represent angelic communication, good omens, and kisses from God. I can remember where I found most of my feathers, and the stories behind them. A lot of my feathers I discovered while walking around with my daughter in parks and on beaches. Others seemed to serendipitously land at our feet while talking. We love finding feathers together, it’s a special mother-daughter hobby we share.
Over the years, I’ve received large feathers at retreats and in yoga circles as parting gifts. However, my favorite feathers are the ones that seem to find me. Especially small white ones. Small white flowers always seem to float towards me when I need to remember to smile. Any connection to animals, nature and especially the ocean I tried to capture like lightning in a bottle. Considering the profound connection between humans and animals, you may want to keep fossils and feathers in your home to start an ongoing spiritual discourse with our lived environment. It makes a difference when you are becoming intentional about preserving and caring for the world around you. Sometimes it begins with something as small as a feather.
At the moment I keep them in a small mason jar on my praying space and imagine them bringing in a calming energy and connecting me to nature. In Native American culture, feathers represent the spiritual and ancestral connection. I love that connection because I believe all objects, even the ones that are considered to be inanimate, carry life force energy within them.
So the next time you’re outside and you find a feather, consider setting an intention with it. Or even better, repurpose it by getting some ink and using it to write with. I’ve done it, and it writes beautifully. You can collect several feathers and make your own dream catcher. Or just place them in a jar. Another option is leaving them on the ground to remain one with the Earth.
There’s nowhere to take them because essentially they’re already home.
Over the past two years I’ve started a feather collection. It’s not huge but it does have some pretty nice and unique feathers in it. I love collecting feathers of different varieties. For me, they represent angelic communication, good omens, and kisses from God. I can remember where I found most of my feathers, and the stories behind them. A lot of my feathers I discovered while walking around with my daughter in parks and on beaches. Others seemed to serendipitously land at our feet while talking. We love finding feathers together, it’s a special mother-daughter hobby we share.
Over the years, I’ve received large feathers at retreats and in yoga circles as parting gifts. However, my favorite feathers are the ones that seem to find me. Especially small white ones. Small white flowers always seem to float towards me when I need to remember to smile. Any connection to animals, nature and especially the ocean I tried to capture like lightning in a bottle. Considering the profound connection between humans and animals, you may want to keep fossils and feathers in your home to start an ongoing spiritual discourse with our lived environment. It makes a difference when you are becoming intentional about preserving and caring for the world around you. Sometimes it begins with something as small as a feather.
At the moment I keep them in a small mason jar on my praying space and imagine them bringing in a calming energy and connecting me to nature. In Native American culture, feathers represent the spiritual and ancestral connection. I love that connection because I believe all objects, even the ones that are considered to be inanimate, carry life force energy within them.
So the next time you’re outside and you find a feather, consider setting an intention with it. Or even better, repurpose it by getting some ink and using it to write with. I’ve done it, and it writes beautifully. You can collect several feathers and make your own dream catcher. Or just place them in a jar. Another option is leaving them on the ground to remain one with the Earth.
There’s nowhere to take them because essentially they’re already home.
A lot of people are up in arms about the Washington Post’s recent decision to not endorse a political candidate. However, I have to admit, I never liked the idea of mainstream media endorsing candidates, due to its sway over the masses. Malcolm X spoke about this power of the media to make the “innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent.”
Now, in fairness, we depend on the news media to hold themselves to a high standard of journalistic integrity. But, with money as a strong influence behind the scenes, many wonder if that’s possible. Especially when there are bills to be paid and doors that need to be kept open for employees. But we are not ignorant of the power of media in all its forms. I am very familiar with the power of influence and the effect it can have on one’s life. I watched one influencer for ten years straight. She was mom and she had several failed relationships and she was always chasing a dream and a dollar. She was very beautiful, very vulnerable, and a stay at home mom like me at the time. I resonated with each crying spell and homemade fried chicken enchilada. But, the more I watched her, the more my life mirrored hers. I was slowly becoming a volatile red-lipped mess yelling at my kids to clean, and dreaming of dreams that I wasn’t working towards.
That is the power of influence and the reason I pay more attention to what I consume. You should too. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Remember, not only are we who they say we are, but we become what we focus on. It’s the reason I thought long and hard about the importance of sharing the problems, but highlighting the solutions of our world.
Plato once said that, “those that are able to see beyond the shadows and the lies of their culture, will never be understood, let alone believed by the masses.”
I have personal experience with being ahead of my time. It kind of forces you into a corner or the outskirts of your social circle. No one has the time or the capacity to think too deeply, too long, or too hard–and it’s an exhausting endeavor to be believed. But, I feel that change is coming. Who other than the news media, the most powerful entity in the world, should bare the responsibility of being factual and neutral? We are reliant on those overseeing our information to be fair, just, non-biased and balanced. Now, the people who work at institutions have opinions and they should, but they shouldn’t make it to the media.
“One of the reasons that we are in a free speech battle and many other societal battles at this time is because we have given freedom to the masses without parameters and ethics”–Luz
Yet when you think about the press and why people start them up, (myself included) it happens because you feel either misrepresented or overlooked. We do this because of those words imparted by Plato and Malcolm X–we need control and representation! You may feel that major outlets aren’t covering your issues. That’s a fair assessment as well. But, one of the reasons that we are in a free speech battle and many other societal battles at this time is because we have given freedom to the masses without parameters and ethics. I am largely speaking in the realm of journalism but you get my point.
Therefore in my opinion, major news outlets should not endorse candidates. They should remain objective and allow the people to make their decisions. Now, concerning the onslaught of misinformation administered by citizen journalists, and bloggers focused on entertainment operating with or without ethics, only reinforces the necessity of major news outlets being the standard-bearers of neutrality. In doing so, it serves as a form of checks and balances in the realm of reporting and influence. In my opinion, it was the right thing to do, and strong move for helping skeptical readers regain trust in their information sources.
What do you think? Should mainstream newspapers endorse candidates or lean heavily into religion?
I woke up this morning with hearing the saying, “After you’ve done all you can, you just stand.” After I heard that, I felt a peace wash over me. Some may or may not know, but I am an intercessor and I proudly stand in the gap for others who cannot pray for themselves. That is all of us some time.
In these days and times that feel very tense, and like we are having a battle between true and false, and light and dark–after we plead our case, it is time to stand. The world right now seems to be fueled by anger. There is a desperate need to stir up a hatred so palpable that if we succumb to this void, it will overtake us. There is a general belief that the truth rings true, and if it does, we don’t need to be cajoled within an inch of our life to receive it. However, there is nothing that we can do about the heaviness that exists. It is by design and has existed from the foundation of the world in an effort to steal your joy, faith, peace, and ultimately your hope. Anger robs us of the promise of happiness and cloaks our inner child with disbelief and agitation. Once this happens, we lack the ability to forgive. Forgiveness is a major conduit of change and transformational energy. It is of the highest vibration we lay hold of when we are able to forgive. When you forgive those who have wronged you, you are rewarded with a gift of youth and vitality because you have made your heavenly Father proud.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
It is not easy to forgive. This is I know. If it is easy intellectually, we know that healing takes time. But when I really feel stuck, I like to look at my children who sometimes fight like cats and dogs but they could never be apart from each other. Even though my daughter knows that her brother is going to say something mean or do something mean, it never kills her desire to love him. I lived like that for a long time. In many ways I still do. It’s only when my ego kicks in and I worry about looking like a fool or being mistreated do I go down the rabbit hole of hypotheticals and scenarios of what could be instead of what has typically been–God’s protection, grace, and favor over my life.
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven” Luke 6:37
We often forget that everything is actually working in our favor. Every setback, every situation, and burden is strengthening our resolve to surrender. We know that sometimes forgiveness feels like a tall order, but that’s why Lamentations was written, every know and then we are going to complain. That’s ok. But, if you want to experience true freedom, true joy, then you must forgive. It has a way of lightening your spirit and allowing laughter to come in. When laughter comes in, you aren’t taking yourself so seriously. When you stop being so serious you can connect with your inner child and see the good in others. If you are guilty of wearing rose colored glasses, well, I’ m inclined to believe that you still made it out of your past situations ok.
Confession
I am a believer in going to confession. I go once a month and each time I go, I try to go deeper into identifying what my issues and faults are against others. Almost all of them are rooted in pride or unforgiveness and the absolution redirects me towards family time. We have to be thankful for our families. Everything that we are doing is about family. I am a big kid at heart so I play too much with my kids. I like to scare them or roll around my house chasing them. I like to dance and sing loud and laugh. All of these things keep me happy, youthful and young. It also shows my kids that there is a contrast to my seriousness and that I am learning and growing too. If you feel you need permission to enjoy yourself or be a kid at heart, take this as confirmation. Go do something you used to love to do. Get some friends together or go roller-skating. Whatever you do, enjoy your life. It is a gift.
“For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything” Hebrews 3:4
Growing up, I moved around a lot, and I always dreaded the question “Where are you from?” I never stayed in one place too long while growing up, so the question often threw me off. Many people identify home with a person or believe home is where they were born, but for me, home is wherever I am.
In our world, we get so caught up with “repping” things, and in many ways, these conventions are things that can weigh us down and keep us from taking flight in life and enjoying what the world has to offer. For me, life is about taking in as many experiences as possible and making memories, and for a while, I have enjoyed making those memories from home.
When my personal space is tranquil and filled with delicious seasonal smells and laughter from loved ones, I feel like the wealthiest person in the world. If you follow me on social media, every now and then I will mention my love for snacks. In my household, snacks are a big part of making any home feel comfortable, and I go on a snack run daily.
“Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty” John :35
In my past, I was known for going out regularly and I enjoyed every minute of it. However, once I settled in and became a mom, I started to relish my home life. Home is the one place that I consider to be a buffer to the outside world. Throughout my life, I looked for comfort outside, but that was because my living spaces were not comfortable enough. I didn’t invest enough in my living spaces because I always had my eyes on my future home. I was more focused on my future living spaces instead of tending to the present living space that I was so fortunate to have. However, once I made the small shift in my mentality to focus on what I had been given stewardship over, my living space began to transform. I began to think less about getting my artwork into a gallery or a show, and more about showcasing my work in my home. I thought less about going to the latest restaurants and tried my hand at recreating some of my favorite takeout meals and got quite good at it.
Now, it seems like my homecooked food is the better option because of the freshness and love I put into it. When I transformed my mentality, not only did my home transform, but the things I wanted to manifest outside of it were coming into fruition. This is called being a good steward of what we are blessed to have, and the reward is abundance. In many ways, our homes are a reflection of who we are spiritually and how we view the world. While I am imperfect and fall short of my goals sometimes in my inner and outer sanctums, I strive to build my foundation on solid ground. In doing so, home is wherever I am. If it is not in the condition I desire, then I know it is within me to make it what I desire.
The spirit of the Divine resides in my heart, and I know that I am empowered to create beauty all around me, no matter what the circumstance. Wherever the Lord is, my home is, and I know it is well. So if you get around me and feel comfortable—that is what you are feeling. You are feeling the love and peace of home, and that makes me happy.
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“This is how you smile to someone you don’t like too much; this is how you smile to someone you don’t like at all; this is how you smile to someone you like completely.”
Jamaica Kincaid, Girl
I discovered this long-lost photo in the shed behind a house we had been renting out, mixed in with torn-out pages and several notebooks and sealed envelopes, all from various moments of writing my morning pages. I always think of my daughter when I look at pictures like these, many of which I haven’t thought about in years. She is the spitting image of me in many ways and a constant, yet beautiful, reminder of how fast time flies.
Outside of moving around almost every two years and attending four high schools in for years, I largely enjoyed high school. I never wanted to go back, and I never reminisced on it–but I wish I would have appreciated it more. I wish that I would have appreciated what it meant to be a child. But, I also feel I was raised to be responsible and not to make the same mistakes my mother did. For example, getting pregnant at twenty-one or at all! I didn’t smile alot until I left my highschool in Atlanta and moved to Korea. Korea was the place I felt I blossomed, and it changed the way I viewed life.
As amazing as Atlanta was, my family life during that time was going through alot of changes. I was beginning to see cracks in our foundation and even what it looked like to have two partners going for different goals. I think those were the moments in my life that shaped my ideas on family, traditions and what is truly important in life. I don’t often complain because financially everything was great. However, finances, common interests and even basic compatibility doesn’t make a perfect union–it’s all about values and vision. At least that is what I internalized things to mean. Also, my natural affinity towards helping and fixing situations caused me to believe that through perfection and high achieving I could not only be seen, but find ways to make everyone happy. I am sure alot of kids feel that way. Yet what they don’t know is that, adults are adults, and kids are kids. Children have limited capabilities and although they may be treated like an adult, they are not. We do this often in the Black community. We make little men and women out of our kids and skip over the one time in life they will have to be carefree.
I beliveve that the latter is the natural order of things. When we rob our kids of this natural step, I feel the result is many adults existing in a state of arrested development. They are often non committal, confused, self-focused and searching for things outside of themselves.
“We do this often in the Black community. We make little men and women out of our kids and skip over the one time in life they will have to be carefree.”
I feel like I came out of the womb an old soul. I was always thinking, planning and strategizing about things internally and was unable to share them with anyone. The girls and boys in my circle were not interested. That’s why at some point I began to identlfy with the Beneatha Younger character from A Raisin In The Sun. At the time, I felt she embodied the feeling of wanting to express your mind but being seen as an object. But, I think I was also comfortable in my “role.”
Moving to Korea and Ending My First Engagement
I remember when my mom said that we were moving to Korea right after I’d had the most epic year of being on the homecoming court and co-captain of the cheerleading squad it was horrible. My mother delivered the news with no compassion accep to say that when she was a child she had to move around and I just needed to deal with it. When I went back to tell my friends, they all got together to come up with ways that I could stay back. We racked our brains about who’d ever done this before and how I could stay back. I don’t remember who said it, but someone said “you don’t have to move away if your married?” I thought to myself, “yes, then I would be an adult. I could also emancipate myself like Drew Barrymore’s character in Irreconcilable Differences!” Someone must have passed the message on to my boyfriend who must have picked up some extra shifts from Piggly Wiggly because he someone proposed with a whole diamond. I’ll never forget it, because it came from Helzberg Diamonds and he spent all of his money.
That night I marched into my mom’s room to tell her I wasn’t going because I was engaged and getting married and I was going to live with Alicia and her mom. My mom sat in the bed barely looking up, so that’s when I showed her my ring.
“What is that?” she laughed.
“I told you, I’m getting married.” By that time my dad walked in ready to co-sign whatever she said. My mom rolled her yes.
“Thats a promise ring and you’re still leaving.”
Over the next few months before I left I cried almost daily. Ultimately she was right. I went on to have a unique experience that changed me. I had the best year ever. I worked with dignitaries, officials, Korean businessman, and celebrities through my job at the Dragon Hill Lodge. I did not get married, and I don’t even know where that sweet young man is, or who he became. I forgot about it quickly–because although I felt like I was an adult, I was a teen.
Now as a mother, I allow my kids to be kids. I also raise them similarly to the way I was raised because looking back, my mom, was the best mom for me. Like I am for my daughter.
A. Lincoln showing Sojourner Truth the Bible presented by colored people of Baltimore, Executive Mansion, Washington, D.C. ca. 1893. Photograph.
“My name was Isabella; but when I left the house of bondage, I left everything behind. I wa’n’t goin’ to keep nothin’ of Egypt on me, an’ so I went to the Lord an’ asked Him to give me a new name. And the Lord gave me Sojourner, because I was to travel up an’ down the land, showing the people their sins, an’ bein’ a sign unto them. Afterwards I told the Lord I wanted another name, ‘cause everybody else had two names; and the Lord gave me Truth, because I was to declare the truth to the people.” (Harriet Beecher Stowe, “Sojourner Truth, the Libyan Sibyl,” Atlantic Monthly Apr. 1863, 478)
Sojourner Truth, also known as Isabella Baumfree, died on November 26, 2022. Her death had me thinking about the first time I heard her famous speech, “Aint I A Woman.” The interesting thing about history and conversations surrounding memory–is the grey area within the interpretation. For me, nothing can be interpreted fully without taking into account an individual’s sense of self and the psychological perspectives of the community at that time.
Historians have compared and proven the validity of different versions of Truth’s famous speech. Although there was no speech transcript during the convention, her remarks were recounted by abolitionists of the time. Truthfully, how they accurately created two full and different speeches from memory is impressive to me. Perhaps they took notes? Admittedly, something feels incomplete surrounding the information, and I will have to continue my research of the convention.
However, my initial interpretation of the speech was that she spoke on behalf of her race and on aspects of her womanhood. The reality is that Baumfree was an African woman born into slavery and treated as if she was not a woman in the same way her White counterparts. I often wondered if her laments made subtle jabs at the system and the women around her.
If the injustices of the past mirror the civil unrest and racial sentiments of today, it is understandable that Truth would convey her true feelings at the convention to some degree. In fact, this was a woman bold enough to run away from her enslavement.
Truth coming to the podium and stating Ain’t I Woman, would be a logical question placed towards people that had to be convinced of her humanity and womanhood. Moreover, it would all make logical sense considering the period of The Cult of True Womanhood (1820-1860) which raised White womanhood to virtue and purity, while subjugating Black womanhood to licentious stereotypes.
What if Truth’s baiting with the phrase Ain’t I A Woman, was her way of waking people up to her plight and the Truth of their own.
Woman’s Rights Convention, Akron, Ohio, May 28 and 29, 1851
According to the official transcript of the Ohio Women’s Convention at Akron, that took place in 1851 it was recorded that Sojourner Truth commented on education. The purpose of this convention and several others like it, came on the heels of the 1848 Seneca Falls Convention, which fought for women’s social, religious and civil rights. Elizabeth Cady Stanton opened the convention with these words:
“We are assembled to protest against a form of government, existing without the consent of the governed—to declare our right to be free as man is free, to be represented in the government which we are taxed to support, to have such disgraceful laws as give man the power to chastise and imprison his wife, to take the wages which she earns, the property which she inherits, and, in case of separation, the children of her love.” –Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Seneca Falls Convention 1848
Stanton, Elizabeth Cady. Elizabeth Cady Stanton Papers: Miscellany, -1946; Biographical data. – 1946, 1840. Manuscript/Mixed Material.
The need to fight for women’s rights were agreed upon by all women. The only question was who would obtain the rights first. Looking at history and reading the thoughts of the women in attendance at the time, you understand the importance of accepting all people today. If not, you subject them to inhumanity.
You can read the transcript from the convention on the Library of Congress website here. It’ s very interesting and delivers a litany of obvious reasons and examples of a woman’s right to equality, her wages, and her inherited property.
From The Sojourner Truth Project, you can compare the two speeches for yourself. Given the times, what do you think Sojourner meant? Which speech feels true to you?
Marius Robinson’s transcription: Published June 21, 1851 in the The Anti-Slavery Bugle
The oldest account of Truth’s speech that provides more than a passing mention of it was published by Marius Robinson on June 21, 1851 in the Salem Anti‐Slavery Bugle, a few weeks after the speech was given. This version was not the first published account of the Akron speech, but rather the first attempt to convey what Sojourner Truth said in full.
May I say a few words? I want to say a few words about this matter.
I am a woman’s rights.
(a) I have as much muscle as any man, and can do as much work as any man.
(b) I have plowed and reaped and husked and chopped and mowed, and can any man do more than that?
I have heard much about the sexes being equal; I can carry as much as any man, and can (c) eat as much too, if (d) I can get it.
I am as strong as any man that is now.
As for intellect, all I can say is, (e) if women have a pint and man a quart – why can’t she have her little pint full?
You need not be afraid to give us our rights for fear we will take too much, for we cant take more than our pint’ll hold.
The poor men seem to be all in confusion, and dont know what to do.
Why children, if you have woman’s rights, give it to her and you will feel better.
You will have your own rights, and they wont be so much trouble.
I cant read, but I can hear.
I have heard the bible and have learned that Eve caused man to sin.
Well if woman upset the world, do give her a chance to set it right side up again.
The Lady has spoken about Jesus, how he never spurned woman from him, and she was right.
When Lazarus died, Mary and Martha came to him with faith and love and besought him to raise their brother.
And Jesus wept – and Lazarus came forth.
And how came Jesus into the world?
(f) Through God who created him and woman who bore him.
(g)Man, where is your part?
But the women are coming up blessed be God and a few of the men are coming up with them.
But man is in a tight place, the poor slave is on him, woman is coming on him, and he is surely between-a hawk and a buzzard.
Frances Gage’s inacurate version: 23 April 1863 issue of the New York Independent
The most common yet inaccurate rendering of Truth’s speech—the one that introduced the famous phrase “Ar’n’t I a woman?”—was constructed by Frances Dana Gage, nearly twelve years after the speech was given by Sojourner at the Akron conference. Gage’s version first appeared in the New York Independent on April 23, 1863.
Well, chillen, whar dar’s so much racket dar must be som’ting out o’kilter.
I tink dat, ’twixt de niggers of de South and de women at de Norf, all a-talking ’bout rights, de white men will be in a fix pretty soon.
But what’s all this here talking ’bout?
Dat man ober dar say dat women needs to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have de best place eberywhar.
Nobody eber helps me into carriages or ober mud-puddles, or gives me any best place.
-And ar’n’t I a woman?
Look at me.
(a) Look at my arm.
(b) I have plowed and planted and gathered into barns, and no man could head me.
-and ar’n’t I a woman?
I could work as much as (c) eat as much as a man, (when (d) I could get it,) and bear de lash as well
-and ar’n’t I a woman?
I have borne thirteen chillen, and seen ’em mos’ all sold off into slavery, and when I cried out with a mother’s grief, none but Jesus heard
-and ar’n’t I a woman?
Den dey talks ’bout dis ting in de head.
What dis dey call it?
Dat’s it, honey.
What’s dat got to do with women’s rights or niggers’ rights?
(e) If my cup won’t hold but a pint and yourn holds a quart, wouldn’t ye be mean not to let me have a little half-measure full?
Den dat little man in black dar, he say women can’t have as much rights as man ’cause Christ wa’n’t a woman.
Whar did your Christ come from?
Whar did your Christ come from?
(f) From God and a woman.
(g)Man had nothing to do with him.
If de fust woman God ever made was strong enough to turn de world upside down all her one lone, all dese togeder ought to be able to turn it back and git it right side up again, and now dey is asking to, de men better let ’em.
Bleeged to ye for hearin’ on me, and now ole Sojourner ha’n’t got nothin’ more to say.
