Growing up I was very impulsive. Like hop in cars and on planes on a whim, and even down to get engaged because: I-felt -like it–impulsive. Looking back, I never really had a bunch of regrets because I was so caught up in the moment. Which can be good. Living in the moment is a constant reminder that today is really the only day that’s promised and so you live it full out. I tend to believe I was always following my heart and passions and that my gut checks were largely right. I have no regrets when I look back on life. It was definitely full force ahead.
Well, I did have my blind spots. The only place I never seem to follow my instincts full out is when it comes to love. You know that reckless abandon that makes you want to run towards someone and never look back? Yeah, that’s always been scary for me. I mean, what if I fall in love myself? Kind of like what ended up happening over and over any way–but that’s another story for another time.
I think the best relationships don’t worry about the fall out, or maybe they do worry about it and don’t care, either way it’s a gamble. You never can tell what’ll happen on the crazy, sexy, outrageous train of love.
There is another side to making strange gut decisions, and that is feeling something and ignoring it. How many times, have you felt like,” this person is sooo perfect. Wait, no they’re too perfect…let me check out someone a bit more flawed or familiar?” That’s actually trauma. That’s an unhealed area of life and maybe even a revelation on allowing television and social media to shape your relationships.
The correct choice was probably the person that you may have had to take a leap of faith with. Maybe they weren’t that exciting but they made you laugh or they studied you intently when you spoke. Maybe they were the person that made you lose track of time, or you feel safe, when you’re used to feeling reckless.
Or when it comes to love and relationships you can be so detached from your sacral and root chakras, and detached from the truth of who you are, and what you want, that you decide to just date someone’s resume. That way, you know you won’t make a mistake. It’s a quiet kept secret but men do this too. They often go towards someone’s resume and what their parents want and fully ignore what makes they happy. Later on down the line they find themselves suffering in silence over the one that got away.
“Reflections of You” (2021) Korean Drama
That kind of love that has your stomach twisted in knots, but is forbidden on so many levels, is depicted so well in the Korean drama “Reflections of You”. I have never seen two people look so miserable apart, and while one stays attached to the one he was loyal to from the beginning and the other lives her best painter life but has an empty marriage, it is an ongoing cat-and-mouse chase of self-denial and unnecessary hell. They both could have kept their smiles and become the artists they were born to be had they simply stayed together. But loyalty called them both, and they paid for it royally. Don’t get me wrong I would done the same thing and have done the same thing, but we are looking at the road less travelled during the road to reconstructing the self.
It’s a position where you have to ask yourself what is more important: instinct or loyalty? It’s a difference between the devil you know and the devil you don’t know.
Needless to say, if this was a easy cut and dry topic, there wouldn’t be so many relationship podcasts out there pondering the subject. Following your instincts are for those who are willing to take big risks for a big reward. Oftentimes, it calls for going against tradition and even coming up against naysayers. What would you do? Do you often follow your instincts? Or do you follow them in some instances and not in others?
My goal for life going forward is to take on the courage of my spiritual guides and advisors. I plan to go big or go home. I may seem to be taking baby steps, but in my mind I am leaping forward. How about you?
