Category: Writer Life

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Healing Through Art: A Journey of Spiritual Growth

Image by the author Chiara Luz via Generative AI

Sometimes there is a heaviness that we feel in our lives. It may be there for various reasons. It can get difficult to manage in the cold months and when the weather is grey. I was talking to a family member about the healing power of art today and what makes it so powerful. Art doesn’t ask you to talk. It doesn’t judge and when you are in the process of creation—you are free.

I’ve moved into the realm of spiritual art, and as fascinating as it is, it can also feel heavy. Its purpose is healing, yet I realize now that I needed more healing myself before diving into this journey. I’m in a better place these days, more grounded, and more prepared to receive the remarkable gift of communion with the other side.

When I feature saints here on Chiara Atoyebi Media, it’s intentional. Through every challenge and hardship in my life, a saint has walked with me. Even my daughter Calais — whom I imagine praying for me day and night — brings me a deep sense of calm. I share with my readers the same things I lean on in my own life. I may not be as direct as many people, but this is my story. I mention my other site, my life’s work, and my nonprofit because they are part of that story. The House of Maryam is something I had to grow into, and I suspect I’ll always be reaching for the wisdom and compassion I hope it reflects.

In my daily life, people don’t often associate me with struggle, but I have my challenges. Parenting, especially, stretches every part of my soul — particularly when guiding children through a new family dynamic. I think I handle it well, yet when I talk about opportunity, housing, stability, education, creativity, all of it matters. This is life. We only get one, and it should be beautiful.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is that the beauty I’ve poured into others becomes medicine when I finally give it to myself. That realization felt like a holy ordinance. I never imagined I could offer that kind of love to myself or that joy could be something I truly experienced. For the first time in my life, I listen to love songs. The first was “Overjoyed” by Stevie Wonder, then “Lovely Day” by Bill Withers, and the list keeps growing. I spent a lifetime listening to breakup music. If I have any advice, it’s this: you are what you listen to. If you fill your ears with fighting and making up, you’ll live in that cycle.

In the months ahead, my goal — along with the other writers on this site — is to offer simple, useful information that helps you build a beautiful life right where you are. I believe that when we’re faithful in small things and truly grateful, we rise. I already feel lighter and more elevated simply by having this space to communicate and share with you.

This month is National Hobby Month, and it’s the perfect time to reconnect with something you love. What’s life without a little joy that belongs only to you? If you have a hobby you adore, I’d love to hear about it. I’m always open to trying something new. Who knows — I may even join you from afar

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Investing in What Matters: My Priceless Purchases

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Outside of this fancy mug I just splurged buying, it’s been hard to think about what I’ve spent a lot of money on. I do have quite a few art supplies and all of them were costly. In the past, my most expensive purchase would have been my computer but I’ve added a few bells and whistles to my life since then. Oh, I do remember buying a few designer bags. They were exciting, but buying the $300 worth of fabric for the first gown I sewed was more exhilarating.

I feel the best in life when I’m getting a deal. While I’m not a full on haggler on prices, I do like to take my time comparison shopping, and scouring the shelves like a detective for discounts. In truth, depending on when the season is, different things are expensive at different times. I remember buying tomatoes as an adult while trying to become an entrepreneur because the job market was meh, was a challenge. But when it comes to my art supplies, and fabric, I have had no regrets.

In the future, I think I may add trips and hotels to this list, but for now, these are things that feed my soul and are worth the expense.

If you haven’t checked out our rapidly growing family shop, head on over today. On our Etsy shop you will find Veterans Day bundles and heritage gifts and more.

Please join the mailing list and visit the shop. Thanks so much for reading.

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Tell Good Stories

Tell good stories.

That’s the goal. That’s the mission.

Whether it’s retelling the greatest story ever told, exploring forgotten folklore, putting forth sacred art, or inspiring visual culture, we know that stories shape our vision.

Stories are all around us. We are a living example of the proclamation of ideas called “words made flesh.”  Ultimately, as storytellers, we have the ability to tell good stories.  Or we can  create  full-bodied, dynamic, thoughtfully crafted and historically balanced, shared narratives that  reinforce our place in the world and in our community. We have the power as universal storytellers and citizen authors to see what we want to. It’s a lot of responsibility. The truth is a lot of responsibility, but that’s what makes it compelling.

Stories are not limited to movies, magazines, and large media. I tell my daughter a bedtime in the oral tradition every night. I make her the center of the story, and it’s fun. Maybe she will carry on the tradition.

So, what will you create? What stories will you tell that haven’t been told? And if it’s a bedtime story, it’s OK to be the hero.

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Through Life’s Ups And Downs The Greatest Gift Is Having The Patience To Find And Be Yourself

What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?

This was my lowkey Italian themed holiday. Believe it or not, everything was not shown in the picture—and it was under $100. That should make anyone who feels they need to break the bank this holiday season smile deep down on the inside. I created the event in this way to demonstrate that the Thanksgiving holiday is about love and communion—not long suffering. I’m thankful that I did it.

I love Thanksgiving and this one was no different. I opted to do something small at home, and it was probably the most laid back dinner with my kiddos, I’ve ever had. I used to have my judgey glasses on when people would opt to spend a holiday apart from their family, but now I get it. Not to cheapen it, but it’s a meal. Albeit a grand and commemorative one, it’s still a meal overall.

I know when you think of Thanksgiving you don’t think of Italy, but how many holidays have you run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to make foods that half of the people in attendance won’t even like?

Exactly.

That’s what I think of when I consider all of the turkey eating and wasting. Yet, when I mention that I don’t like turkey, people often want to believe it’s because I need it cooked a different way. Actually it’s simply not my forte.

In fact nearly 35% of Americans dislike turkey. That’s a lot. Consider what you are actually doing, you’re partaking in an event where you’re forced to pretend (you don’t like turkey or your Uncle Bob) and then grin and bear it for the sake of family. This is the perpetuation of suffering. I don’t know what’s worse, little kids having to answer the question of “how’s school?” a million times, or eating bad potato salad until I bust.

What I will say about this Thanksgiving is that it may have been lowkey but there were days of leftovers and the kids liked everything on the table. This is a win for mitigating food waste in our household. Studies have shown that approximately 312 million pounds of food will be wasted this holiday. Considering the overall high cost of food and the impact of food waste on the environment, it may be time to reconsider how we celebrate with food this holiday season.

While it’s safe to say that you don’t want too many holidays to pass without seeing your elderly family members and chuckle over some dried out bird and boxed stuffing—it’s equally ok to sit one out from time to time.

The Most Positive Thing Of All

Overall, the most positive thing to come out of this year was me regaining my voice, strength and my light.

Over the years, and for a variety of reasons, I’ve lost a lot of the things that made me sparkle and shine. Anyone can lose them when you fail to be honest about how you feel and take action towards resolving things that no longer serve you. When you don’t you are only left with a mound of complaints, no solutions, and fewer opportunities to get it right.

There are seemingly a great many barriers to happiness. However, putting all things into perspective, puts all things into perspective. It makes you think about what is it you really want. What do you really want to be doing? What really makes me happy or would make me happy right now? A lot of times we give a knee jerk answer instead of putting our thoughts through the fire and monitoring our actions.

That’s what I did this year.

I didn’t just say —I want this! I like this! I had to exorcise all the junk and things I did not like from my consciousness over a period of months, unlearn some bad behaviors, and consider my true feelings.

Do you know how you truly feel about things? When it gets quiet, if you have the luxury of stillness, do you remember who you are? I believe we come in this life knowing who we are and then we forget and then it becomes a fight of a lifetime to recall all of the things that made you sparkle.

Today’s Spiritual Foundation For Leadership

This Thanksgiving I was thankful for finding the love of my life—me. It’s been so long since I’ve met up with myself it’s been like discovering a twin flame connection. This reconnection with my lost and forgotten self has created a peace and wholeness within me. It’s not only made me question a lot of decisions I’ve made in the past, but has brought about a newfound hope for the future.

No one in life can wave a magic wand and make all of our problems go away over night. But, wouldn’t it be great to know that you could begin to do that for yourself. First, accept your life. Accept where you are. Accept who you are and seek to find comfort with the circumstances of your existence. If you can find gratitude in the small things, you can count on the blessings of good things coming around the corner.

If we are beautifully and wonderfully made, then we are made to be love, give love, receive love, and to reflect it out into the world. You can only do this by telling the truth, accepting the truth, changing it if necessary, and then living it.

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. ~ Bill Cosby

The quickest way to your downfall is trying to please others by any means necessary. Don’t despise humble beginnings or humble moments. Those are the moments where we have the ability to rediscover ourselves and design a life of truth and significant meaning.

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All Loyalty Is Not Good Loyalty, It’s Good To Know The Difference

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

There is really only one thing I would change about myself and it revolves around my loyalties. Throughout my life I have struggled with engaging in relationships, and even jobs until the point of catastrophe. Although I know that after every catastrophe of some kind immediate blessing appears after, I still seem to take my time making decisions. That’s because if there’s a catastrophic moment allowed to enter my life, I know it’s for a reason.

Life Is Too Short Too Be Unhappy, Is it?

I wrote an article about life decisions the other day and posted it on Nextdoor, and someone commented that life was too short to be unhappy. I remember thinking is that true? In my mind that is an oversimplistic way of looking at life. Think about it, just because you rid yourself of one area of unhappiness doesn’t mean that another is not going to pop up later down the line. Unhappiness, just like happiness, is forever. Ultimately happiness is a choice and it is controlled by you. Now, there are situations where people can disrupt and systematically try to dismantle your happiness and decisions need to be made about it. All the decisions involve a level of detachment, and that is where my pontification comes in. When is it time to reconsider your loyalties and embark on the next phase of your journey? For the most part, life tends to move along for me from glory to glory. However, in the rare moments when tragedy hits, I know it’s time get off the fence. When my steady boat threatens to capsize, I know the only thing that will get me through is faith and loyalty to whatever I hear from God.

This past year my spiritual journey has unearthed a lot about my strengths and weaknesses. It allowed me to see how I put others before myself, and how they would like to see me put myself first. Believe it or not, I have put myself first but it still looks like putting other people first at times. In many ways, that’s most of us–we are simply caring individuals. Maybe that’s just how my life is designed. I am created to inspire.

In the past I allowed so many people to keep the energy and gift of inspiration in small group. But, I noticed that my spirit was calling me out the group. I was feeling a desire to spread my own wings and fly. I believed then, and still believe now, that all things ultimately work for my good. Even in the toughest of times and sometimes especially in the toughest of times. Like you, I’m a person that at one moment I think I have a part of my journey that is so compelling than another thing hits me before I can even tell how I was delivered from my past. Through it all, the worst thing has been meeting so many emotional vampires– but I now know that I’m the only one with the power to change that trajectory. The change comes with the consideration of my loyalties. Wherever I go, I take the crux of who I am with me, because it belongs to me. Just as the essence of you belongs to you, and you can always call back your power when necessary.

Loyal To God

This past year has caused me to rise up in my life and take the drivers wheel in a firm way. It was initiated by a consecration I did to The Virgin Mary last year. After I completed this consecration, I began to see life with new eyes. I saw that due to my rose colored glasses I was missing a lot of important things in life. I was missing important moments. I was missing hidden truths, and I was missing myself. When we are loyal to God we get the ultimate gift of being reconciled with spirit and with ourselves. It is a level of divinity that brings about continued happiness.

When I reflect on 2024, that will be my greatest gift, that of spiritual growth and finding myself again. It has been a journey of discovering all the things I love, and removing all the things I can live without.

Loyalty to the wrongs things, and to severely broken things, can cause you to become despondent and stagnant. I don’t think that is God’s best for our lives. I remember going through a great deal of emotional stress that caused me to shut down and become numb. Numbness is one of the worst things you can feel. Especially if you are like me and you understand that life is a gift. Going numb is dangerous. Thankfully I am not numb today, yoga and art helped a lot with that. But the interesting thing about that time is I had a memory that crossed my mind like a beam of light. I had a memory of eating pizza with my friends. It had been so long since I’d done anything fun that the memory of me having fun was lost. I know that is a direct correlation to negative soul ties and negative relationships.

For many Christians we take a lot. There is a false teaching somewhere that makes it seem like we need to be the wastelands of the lost and it’s not true. When God says he cares, you are counted in that grace. You are designed for glory and happiness. The thing I had to retrain myself to remember is that God is the savior, not me. My job is to keep my soul in alignment to my calling and pray for others on theirs.

You may say, what if I am married to that person? I’d say especially if you are married to that person. You need to pray for them, but your loyalty is to whatever He is calling you to do. Too often in our lives we are tied to situations we should have never been in because we leaned into our own understanding then we need God to get us out.

If you are called to move across country, start a new endeavor, leave a friend or family member behind —be obedient. If you are called to stay, do that too. Obedience is always better than the false sacrifices we tend to make. Sometimes loyalty has an end and possibly a new beginning. For me, I have undergone such a significant spiritual change that I no longer resonate with a great many things. It’s now time to make new plans, alliances, dreams, and memories. Not out hate for the past, or a lack of loyalty but out of a hunger for the future and a renewed relationship with God.

So when anyone asks where my loyalties lie, there’s your answer.