“The Forever Workshop” is a Substack newsletter by Mike Reilley, the same person behind the Journalist’s Toolbox. This newsletter focuses on providing journalists and content creators with tools, tips, and resources to enhance their work. It covers a wide range of topics, including data journalism, fact-checking, and digital storytelling.
What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?
The hardest decision I feel anyone has to make is should they let go of a relationship. In the media, letting go of relationships is posited as an easy thing to do. Simply let go of it and move on.
Yet, is that the correct way to go about building sustainable partnerships? In life, we all have to make some tough decisions. Especially when it comes to love and family. In Matthew 7, this passage is all about judgements, patience, and trust.
There is so much in life that we do not know, but this passage talks about being who you desire to be in life and also waiting on the Lord to use you. Through this use, you will become a light of change and hence cause change within the other person.
There are many spiritual texts that speak to this truth. The truth is, we are the light unto each other. Leaving a situation always feels like the quickest way to expedite healing. However, it can be more like a band-aid to a deeper problem. One time, while in a particularly frustrating relationship that suffered from pervasive communication breakdowns, I wanted to run for the door screaming. I just didn’t feel it needed to be “so hard.” Ultimately I did leave. I even went to therapy after. That’s the responsible thing to do I felt.
The therapist didn’t tell me much that I didn’t already know. Nor did I really need the validation of being right. I wanted to be better overall. Well, as I move into this work of healing, arts, and veneration of the saints—I am in full understanding that talking won’t always get us the deep stuff. The deep stuff is a spiritual endeavor and needs to be addressed with spiritual tools.
When I left that relationship I still, with all of my newfound knowledge, walked into a carbon copy of my previous relationship. On a communication level it began great and ended up even worse over the years. Has that ever happened to you?
You can exercise justice without of sight and out of mind action—but healing and transformation are constant actions that we are undergoing. Good, strong foundations take time to erect. The only way you know that they are good is that they have been tested.
If you ever find me on TikTok when I am doing a live session. I am reading playing cards as a method of opening up blocked pathways and finding out what is hidden. A lot of times what I unearth or what we unearth together is so deep that you may reject it. Most people reject truth until they have a moment to play around with the cards and put together their story. Technically I don’t need cards to “read” a person. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
But if we started talking and I told you deep things about yourself or I was speaking casually and it resonated too closely—you’d be scared or off-put. So in essence, cards provide a fourth wall of interaction. I also wonder if this is something women turn to because they can’t technically become priests within the Catholic Church. Since I am a devout Catholic, that would be me.
After I know what is blocked, it’s easier to align a healing method. This is important because your spiritual well being is synonymous with how well your home environment and life in general thrives. A thriving environment within allows you to make different choices when evaluating your relationships as well.
Returning to the example of Matthew 7, it speaks to not judging. Also, the gospels as a whole speak to waiting and then beholding what will be a victory. The victory that we are waiting for is the validation that what we have been shown and told by God will not come back void. That we did indeed receive a promise and we won’t be made fools of. Being made a fool of is rooted in ego. It is what the world uses to lure you out of humility and into idolatry. I can attest from experience, that providence can outpace and overpower and stronghold if you dig your heels in and believe in it.
In terms of relationships. You can’t make someone love you. I know people that have worked all forms of magic on a person to get them to stay and they wind up with a vegetable on the couch, an angry individual, or someone who is a shell of themselves. You have to decide if that is what you want. Forgiveness is often an apology away, but again, you can’t make healing come faster or love come quicker or harder. To force it is rooted in ego. However, you can go off into non judgment and better yourself. You can give something time and space and if it’s yours it returns. If it doesn’t, there is your answer. All answers are slow to manifest. All answers make manifest as non linear. But if you trust God then you don’t manipulate, you present yourself as the thing you want. That comes from loving you. When you love you and focus on your happiness, is there ever a wrong decision? No. You are too busy being in love.
So when I think about leaving or staying in any situation that could significantly alter ny life I try to think long term. I recalibrate my interests and give myself space. More importantly, I access my spiritual toolbox through prayer, going out in nature, writing rituals and creating. I like to know what my ancestors above and below have for me.
Most answers require patience. Life requires patience. Good things take time.
When it comes to this tough decision it’s important to take all the time you need. Don’t rush your plans. Don’t run, unless you feel you have to. Don’t betray yourself, your values, and your words.
I have spent many years, some very recently, betraying myself, dishonoring the use of my gifts, and even playing close to the line on my beliefs. In life sometimes you must draw a hard line in the sand. You may have to dig your heels in and heal where you are. You may need to heal in an uncertain time, or uncomfortable situation, before you get the green light for your new beginning. If you do it that way, there will be no need to move forward with old ideas and baggage. Heal your initial work place, friendship, marriage etc. with a ritual of active forgiveness—then walk away in love. Or stay, because your light may even change a dark place and strike a chord of understanding within individuals.
Let me know if this resonates and please remember to like share and subscribe. Your support helps get out a message of wisdom and helps to grow our media company.
Growing up I was very impulsive. Like hop in cars and on planes on a whim, and even down to get engaged because: I-felt -like it–impulsive. Looking back, I never really had a bunch of regrets because I was so caught up in the moment. Which can be good. Living in the moment is a constant reminder that today is really the only day that’s promised and so you live it full out. I tend to believe I was always following my heart and passions and that my gut checks were largely right. I have no regrets when I look back on life. It was definitely full force ahead.
Well, I did have my blind spots. The only place I never seem to follow my instincts full out is when it comes to love. You know that reckless abandon that makes you want to run towards someone and never look back? Yeah, that’s always been scary for me. I mean, what if I fall in love myself? Kind of like what ended up happening over and over any way–but that’s another story for another time.
I think the best relationships don’t worry about the fall out, or maybe they do worry about it and don’t care, either way it’s a gamble. You never can tell what’ll happen on the crazy, sexy, outrageous train of love.
There is another side to making strange gut decisions, and that is feeling something and ignoring it. How many times, have you felt like,” this person is sooo perfect. Wait, no they’re too perfect…let me check out someone a bit more flawed or familiar?” That’s actually trauma. That’s an unhealed area of life and maybe even a revelation on allowing television and social media to shape your relationships.
The correct choice was probably the person that you may have had to take a leap of faith with. Maybe they weren’t that exciting but they made you laugh or they studied you intently when you spoke. Maybe they were the person that made you lose track of time, or you feel safe, when you’re used to feeling reckless.
Or when it comes to love and relationships you can be so detached from your sacral and root chakras, and detached from the truth of who you are, and what you want, that you decide to just date someone’s resume. That way, you know you won’t make a mistake. It’s a quiet kept secret but men do this too. They often go towards someone’s resume and what their parents want and fully ignore what makes they happy. Later on down the line they find themselves suffering in silence over the one that got away.
“Reflections of You” (2021) Korean Drama
That kind of love that has your stomach twisted in knots, but is forbidden on so many levels, is depicted so well in the Korean drama “Reflections of You”. I have never seen two people look so miserable apart, and while one stays attached to the one he was loyal to from the beginning and the other lives her best painter life but has an empty marriage, it is an ongoing cat-and-mouse chase of self-denial and unnecessary hell. They both could have kept their smiles and become the artists they were born to be had they simply stayed together. But loyalty called them both, and they paid for it royally. Don’t get me wrong I would done the same thing and have done the same thing, but we are looking at the road less travelled during the road to reconstructing the self.
It’s a position where you have to ask yourself what is more important: instinct or loyalty? It’s a difference between the devil you know and the devil you don’t know.
Needless to say, if this was a easy cut and dry topic, there wouldn’t be so many relationship podcasts out there pondering the subject. Following your instincts are for those who are willing to take big risks for a big reward. Oftentimes, it calls for going against tradition and even coming up against naysayers. What would you do? Do you often follow your instincts? Or do you follow them in some instances and not in others?
My goal for life going forward is to take on the courage of my spiritual guides and advisors. I plan to go big or go home. I may seem to be taking baby steps, but in my mind I am leaping forward. How about you?
I love the month of November. It’s generally the time when the leaves begin to change color and thoughts of the holidays dance around in our minds. I especially love Thanksgiving. Over the last decade I have significantly scaled down my festivities. I did this for various reasons. One, I needed to in order to reconnect to the true meaning of the holiday which is to , not outdo my family members in the kitchen, but to enjoy the day and have a good meal. Two, I really started to order in takeout. Ordering in takeout on Thanksgiving has been a game changer for me. No more stressing about picky eaters or anti-social family members. I can grab what everyone wants, lay it out, then relax, For those of us that cook, it can be a stressful time. But, not when you order in. The only thing that’s missing is that certain, je nais se quois, that’s the love of a homecooked meal.
November is also a spiritual month as well. It is as perfect time to remember those family and friends that are no longer with us. It’s also a time to remember that, the most important aspect of the holidays is love. Just being with people you care about is a blessing, in my opinion. There are people that do not have anyone to spend time with on the holidays. Others don’t like their choices and would rather just be alone. Politics have been particularly stressful and people have allowed the media to separate them on a difference of opinion. I will admit, I will permanently look at some people differently after the way that acted this past year. It could never be the same. This last political cycle, especially for those with money and jobs on the line, showed a whole side of themselves that needed to be kept locked away. At this point, the grins and handshakes are tenuous,—I’d only break bread with one eye open. On the flip side, there is a certain strength and resolve that has arisen from remaining true to oneself during this season. But, I won’t judge you if protecting your peace is far more important than anything else. There’s nothing wrong with spending it alone, but there are other ways to do it. For example, you can start a Friendsgiving tradition.
Some of my best days around the holiday were spent with my friends. However, I personally like to go home during Thanksgiving or even host because it’s the one time of year I make and indulge in the world famous Patti Labelle Mac and Cheese. If you haven’t had it, I highly recommend it. You’ll sleep like a baby afterward.
November is the month that’s considered the quiet before the storm. It’s the time to rest, rejuvenate, and prepare for the year ahead. It’s been a busy year, why not take a break and wind down? This month, I am getting a new arsenal of board games to play with my kids, I am getting back into reading and overall, I am simply meditating and enjoying the changes in the weather. I won’t be doing a lot of holiday parties this year either. I’ve really been in my solo vibe and it has been an experience all its own. I love it. If you haven’t had that time in life where it’s just you and God, I highly recommend it. It’s life changing. It will open spiritual doors that no one can shut and rearrange the way you see yourself, others, and life. Who knows what next year will bring, but this year, I started with love and I will end on the same note.
Over the past two years I’ve started a feather collection. It’s not huge but it does have some pretty nice and unique feathers in it. I love collecting feathers of different varieties. For me, they represent angelic communication, good omens, and kisses from God. I can remember where I found most of my feathers, and the stories behind them. A lot of my feathers I discovered while walking around with my daughter in parks and on beaches. Others seemed to serendipitously land at our feet while talking. We love finding feathers together, it’s a special mother-daughter hobby we share.
Over the years, I’ve received large feathers at retreats and in yoga circles as parting gifts. However, my favorite feathers are the ones that seem to find me. Especially small white ones. Small white flowers always seem to float towards me when I need to remember to smile. Any connection to animals, nature and especially the ocean I tried to capture like lightning in a bottle. Considering the profound connection between humans and animals, you may want to keep fossils and feathers in your home to start an ongoing spiritual discourse with our lived environment. It makes a difference when you are becoming intentional about preserving and caring for the world around you. Sometimes it begins with something as small as a feather.
At the moment I keep them in a small mason jar on my praying space and imagine them bringing in a calming energy and connecting me to nature. In Native American culture, feathers represent the spiritual and ancestral connection. I love that connection because I believe all objects, even the ones that are considered to be inanimate, carry life force energy within them.
So the next time you’re outside and you find a feather, consider setting an intention with it. Or even better, repurpose it by getting some ink and using it to write with. I’ve done it, and it writes beautifully. You can collect several feathers and make your own dream catcher. Or just place them in a jar. Another option is leaving them on the ground to remain one with the Earth.
There’s nowhere to take them because essentially they’re already home.
Over the past two years I’ve started a feather collection. It’s not huge but it does have some pretty nice and unique feathers in it. I love collecting feathers of different varieties. For me, they represent angelic communication, good omens, and kisses from God. I can remember where I found most of my feathers, and the stories behind them. A lot of my feathers I discovered while walking around with my daughter in parks and on beaches. Others seemed to serendipitously land at our feet while talking. We love finding feathers together, it’s a special mother-daughter hobby we share.
Over the years, I’ve received large feathers at retreats and in yoga circles as parting gifts. However, my favorite feathers are the ones that seem to find me. Especially small white ones. Small white flowers always seem to float towards me when I need to remember to smile. Any connection to animals, nature and especially the ocean I tried to capture like lightning in a bottle. Considering the profound connection between humans and animals, you may want to keep fossils and feathers in your home to start an ongoing spiritual discourse with our lived environment. It makes a difference when you are becoming intentional about preserving and caring for the world around you. Sometimes it begins with something as small as a feather.
At the moment I keep them in a small mason jar on my praying space and imagine them bringing in a calming energy and connecting me to nature. In Native American culture, feathers represent the spiritual and ancestral connection. I love that connection because I believe all objects, even the ones that are considered to be inanimate, carry life force energy within them.
So the next time you’re outside and you find a feather, consider setting an intention with it. Or even better, repurpose it by getting some ink and using it to write with. I’ve done it, and it writes beautifully. You can collect several feathers and make your own dream catcher. Or just place them in a jar. Another option is leaving them on the ground to remain one with the Earth.
There’s nowhere to take them because essentially they’re already home.
