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Transform Your Neighborhood with Small Community Actions

Have you ever driven through a beautiful neighborhood and thought, Wow… look at these flowers, these painted porches, these little pockets of calm everywhere? It feels effortless, almost like the neighborhood just became that way.

But here’s the truth we don’t always say out loud: those places look like that because the residents invest in them. They organize clean‑ups. They build Little Free Libraries. They add onto their homes. They show up for their community. They shape the environment they want to live in.

Somewhere along the way, many of us started believing that only big gestures matter. We forget the heart of that famous John F. Kennedy line: ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. Small actions still matter—and they matter more than we think.

Life Is Busy, and That’s Real

When people say they’re too busy to get involved, I agree. Life will have you scrambling. One minute your child is falling behind in school, the next you need a new roof, and you still haven’t made that doctor’s appointment. Meanwhile, you look around and think, The city needs to fix this. This is falling apart. We don’t have enough resources.

It’s overwhelming. And it’s human.

But small changes—tiny, manageable ones—can shift the entire way we live.

Small Things Shape Big Outcomes

I’ve said it here many times: small things matter. They shape our daily lives more than we realize. We love to quote “Be the change you want to see,” but then we wait for someone else to make the change happen.

Some changes require policy. But many can start right where we are.

Even in your home or apartment—temporary or not—you want it to feel good. You want it to be comfortable. And when you eventually level up, you want the next person to inherit something cared for. That mindset alone is powerful.

Using What You Have to Build What You Want

I went to art school, and only now am I really thinking about how to use that training to improve my life and my community. You can do the same with whatever gifts you have.

One thing I rarely hear discussed is how to keep your property values high after you buy a home. Yes, there are injustices that affect communities—things I’ll talk about another time—but residents still have power.

About Those Smoke Shops…

no smoking sign in london public space
Photo by Andre on Pexels.com

I’m not a fan of having a bunch of smoke shops in my neighborhood. Through research, I learned that if the rent is cheap enough, they can move in easily. But if they don’t have customers, they can’t stay.

And honestly, I don’t want our kids growing up thinking vaping is harmless. I tell my own children all the time: you are blessed, but your blessings can literally and figuratively go up in smoke if you start adult habits too early.

At the same time, I try to remember that everyone has a job to do. Everyone is trying to exist. So I’ve also wondered: could these shops be made less of an eyesore? Could they be more elegant, more integrated into the neighborhood? Where I live, some of them are decent. They could be decent everywhere.

Temptation is personal. But community standards are collective.

Getting Involved Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated

City council meetings are online now. Your city website lists committees you can join. You don’t have to show up in person, you can listen in on Zoom while you drink your coffee.

Is it exciting? Not always. But here’s something I learned working in finance: the people who can endure the boring parts often end up with the biggest influence.

If your attention span is short, think of it as a creative challenge. Your voice matters. Reasoned, constructive conversation matters. And yes, some people will try to shut you down. Don’t let that discourage you. Those folks usually get moved aside eventually.

Action is the shortest path to victory.

Start With Your Block

Beautification doesn’t require a grand plan. You can do a lot with one neighbor. One idea. One shared effort. This is a no-brainer when it comes to helping people become useful right where they are. It is the very definition of lifting as we climb as stated by Mary Church Terell.

But if you’re doing major building, please pull a permit. And if the process moves too slowly, well… social media has a way of speeding things up.

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You Are Your Family’s New Beginning

Life can be serious. Especially when you have little eyes looking up to you.

While it’s fun, joyful, and a blessing, it’s also a serious act of stewardship. Not long ago, I had more time to pour myself into causes I cared about, but when you become the cause and have people depending on you, that takes priority. I once wrote in another article about how doing my own taxes changed my perspective. It made me think a lot about where my money goes, how I spend it, how I invest it, and how it’s ultimately used. As a society, we complain about money often, yet rarely talk about engaging with the system, learning the processes, and taking small, actionable steps toward affordability.

I remember spending a year unable to comfortably eat out. I lived on 7-11 taquitos, dressed up frozen meals over rice like they were gourmet, and mostly ate at home. My rule was that it had to be quality, so I went to the store every day. It was a grind I’ll never forget. Back then, the government wasn’t on my mind. The truth is, I don’t like waiting—waiting to be published, to build, to eat, to be good enough. I like to be prepared and ready, with anything extra being icing on the cake. Life is happening now, and the definition of responsibility is to do a little at a time. It adds up.

Next year, Americans are expected to get an extra $1,000 in their bank accounts. It won’t change everything, but in certain phases of life, it can make a difference. If you don’t need it, invest it.

One thing I’ve noticed, and experienced myself, is the contradiction of complaining about money while feeling guilty discussing it. How can I need it yet resent it? How can I call it in while pushing it away? Anything that genuinely helps make life easier is worth appreciating. As long as your values remain intact, be grateful—because chances are, you’ve earned it.

Here are five financial books for women:


1. Debt Proof Living by Mary Hunt

  • Debt-Proof Living is a concept popularized by Mary Hunt in her book and community platform. It’s a practical approach to getting out of debt and staying out of debt for life.
  • The philosophy emphasizes living within your means, building financial resilience, and creating habits that prevent future debt

2. Get Good with Money by Tiffany Aliche

  • A step-by-step guide to achieving financial security through budgeting, saving, and investing.
  • Includes actionable checklists and worksheets to help you build wealth. [

3. You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero

  • Combines mindset coaching with practical financial advice.
  • Great for women who want to overcome limiting beliefs and build confidence around money.

4. Clever Girl Finance by Bola Sokunbi

  • Offers relatable strategies for paying off debt, saving, and investing.
  • Written specifically for women seeking financial independence and confidence.

5. Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin & Joe Dominguez

  • A classic that teaches how to transform your relationship with money and achieve financial freedom.
  • Focuses on aligning spending with personal values and long-term goals.

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Taste The Flavor of Good Chop 🥩

My First Box Delivery (Medium)

My delivery from Good Chop arrived the other day and it did not disappoint. First of all the delivery was seamless. And in this porch pirate climate, that is something that stands out.

My items arrived sealed tight and ice cold. Last night we made the burgers. I wanted to go outside and grill them, but it was freezing. It was a skillet adventure and it didn’t disappoint.

Just so you know, this is organic meat from American farms. Why does this matter? You would be surprised how much of our meat is imported. In 2022, the largest import of monthly beef came from  Brazil.  I am a believer in building up where I live,  since I have to live here. Besides, this was one of the most delicious pieces of ground beef I have had in awhile. I think that buying local is one of the best ways to build up your area. That’s actually how it gets done–with your actual dollars. I learned this from sitting on a few of my city’s committee’s.

Video of the box items for reference

I actually live around quite a few farms and I plan to bring my support even more local. I want to try Kosher butchers and vegetable CSA’s. I have known about this for years but the frugal person in me would never do it. Then I thought about how much I ran to Whole Foods and decided to run some numbers. The math more than worked out. I was also inspired to do this because I was part of a group that worked with Creation Justice Ministries. This ministry sees the beauty of the environment and preserving God’s creation and bringing about justice through small acts. 

Last summer, there was a talk I went to one time about “communion” and it framed the act of farm to table as an act of communion and community. It was such a beautiful concept that I felt like this is absolutely the way it should be. Why should we watch farmers on television talk about their needs when we can help them and ourselves. I personally believe that better quality leads to less waste.

QUALITY OVER EVERYTHING

A neighbor of mine grows tomatoes and served them to us at a party. Those tomatoes tasted like candy. I couldn’t stop eating them. These are not tomatoes I would waste. The watery tomatoes, maybe, not these.

Lastly, Good Chop added a few special gifts. I love gifts!

I am a mom of a son who is very into fashion. He is now into the quarter zip craze. Last week, it was Nike Tech, so I hope quarter zips are still relevant by Christmas. Good Chop just sent over a nice discount code from Collars & Co. This is a company that appeared on Shark Tank, and I am excited to see what it’s all about.

So tell me what you think? Are you ready to order?  Don’t forget to visit our shop for your faith-inspired clothing as well! These hoodies are so nice and thick. Perfect for cold weather  and we have more things coming.

It’s about transformation. With God all things are possible.

Happy Holidays!

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How Kindness Made Homeownership Possible For A Lucky Cleveland Mom

a person holding a key

By Haven Adisa

man couple woman wooden
Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.com

The dream of owning a home is elusive for many—but not for this Cleveland mother, who gets the surprise of a lifetime.

“Throwback to a story that still warms the heart…”
Sometimes the most inspiring moments deserve to be revisited. This Cleveland mother’s journey reminds us that kindness never goes out of style—and that the dream of homeownership can change lives in ways we’ll never forget.



For countless families, the dream of homeownership feels like a distant horizon—something hoped for but rarely within reach. Yet, every so often, life delivers a moment so extraordinary that it reminds us of the power of kindness and the beauty of second chances.

Homeownership isn’t just about having a roof overhead. It’s about stability, security, and the promise of new beginnings. It’s about children having a place to grow, laugh, and dream. And in this case, it’s about a community coming together to make the impossible possible.

In a world often overshadowed by division and hardship, stories like this shine like beacons of hope. They remind us that generosity still exists, that strangers can become heroes, and that sometimes, the greatest surprises come when we least expect them.

So, if you’ve ever doubted the goodness in people, let this story restore your faith. Because when kindness meets opportunity, lives are transformed—and dreams come true.

Keep Believing In Your Dreams Because You never know who’s watching.
In a world where shortcuts are tempting, doing the right thing—even when no one notices—can lead to unexpected rewards. Life has a way of honoring quiet integrity. Just ask the TSA workers who showed up, did their jobs with excellence, and were surprised with bonus checks—bringing them one step closer to dreams like owning a home.

My wish is that the gift and responsibility of homeownership can be made possible for many. For too many people who have waited for generations to get a leg up–it is time that by hook, crook, or the kindness of strangers that families can experience the American dream.

“Now our struggle is for genuine equality, which means economic equality. For we know now that it isn’t enough to integrate lunch counters. What does it profit a man to be able to eat at an integrated lunch counter if he doesn’t have enough money to buy a hamburger?”

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., speaking to sanitation workers in Memphis, March 18, 1968

Homeownership is a true gateway to equity and a step forward for generational wealth and legacy for families. Sometimes, the seeds we plant in secret bloom into blessings beyond imagination.

Resources for Maryland Homebuyers

If you’re inspired by stories of generosity and new beginnings, here are some incredible organizations and programs in Maryland working to make homeownership possible for more families:

🏠 Habitat for Humanity Metro Maryland

Builds and preserves affordable homes in Montgomery and Prince George’s Counties. Families contribute “sweat equity” and receive affordable mortgages, creating stability and community.
🔗 Learn more


🏡 Housing Initiative Partnership (HIP)

A nonprofit developer offering HUD-approved homeownership counseling, foreclosure prevention, and affordable housing development in Prince George’s and Montgomery Counties.
🔗 Learn more


🌟 Maryland Affordable Housing Coalition (MAHC)

Advocates for expanding affordable housing opportunities through education and collaboration with local partners.
🔗 https://mdahc.org


🛠 Habitat for Humanity of the Chesapeake

Focuses on affordable housing development and rehabilitation for low-income families across Central Maryland.
🔗 https://habitatchesapeake.org


Maryland Mortgage Program (MMP)

Statewide program offering 30-year fixed-rate mortgages, down payment assistance, and special options like SmartBuy 3.0 (helps pay off student debt) and HomeAbility (for buyers with disabilities).
🔗 https://mmp.maryland.gov


💰 Local Assistance Programs

  • Prince George’s County Pathway to Purchase – Up to $25,000 in down payment assistance.
  • Baltimore City First-Time Homebuyers Incentive Program – $10,000 for qualifying buyers.
  • City of Laurel Assistance Program – $5,000 toward down payment and closing costs.
    🔗 https://mmp.maryland.gov

Tip: Many of these organizations also offer financial education, credit counseling, and community support—key steps toward building generational wealth and stability.

“Do you believe homeownership is still the American dream? Why or why not?”

Share this story and inspire someone today—because kindness creates ripples.

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Christmas Traditions: Nigeria vs. Western Celebrations

By Haven Adisa

The other day, my daughter came home from school with tears in her eyes. Her classmates had told her, “There’s no Santa Claus.” She looked at me, searching for answers, and in that moment, I realized this was more than a question about a man in a red suit—it was about the magic and meaning of Christmas.

So, I sat her down and told her the truth: Santa Claus is real—but not in the way you think. He lives in the spirit of generosity, kindness, and joy that has been part of Christmas for centuries.

Christmas Didn’t Start Right Away

People often assume Christmas has been celebrated since the birth of Christ. In reality, it wasn’t an early Christian holiday. According to historical records, celebrations of Christ’s birth began around 200 AD, and by the 4th century, churches agreed on December 25 as the official date. Why that date? Some link it to the Roman festival Saturnalia, others to Jewish traditions. Over time, elements from pagan winter festivals—like gift-giving, greenery, and feasting—blended into Christmas.

Traditions That Shaped Christmas

  • Nativity Scenes: St. Francis of Assisi introduced the first crèche in 1223, making the Nativity central to Christmas.
  • Christmas Trees: Originating from pagan symbols of life, they became a sign of hope and eternity. Early gifts were hung on trees before moving under them.
  • Holly & Yule Logs: Holly symbolized everlasting life and Christ’s crown of thorns; Yule logs came from old customs of sharing warmth.
  • Santa Claus: Rooted in St. Nicholas, a 4th-century bishop known for secret acts of charity. Dutch settlers brought his tradition to America, evolving into the jolly Santa we know today.

Christmas in Nigeria: Vibrant and Joyful

In Nigeria, Christmas is a family-centered celebration filled with color and music:

  • Family Reunions: Many travel to ancestral villages for big gatherings.
  • Church Services: Worship and carols are central on Christmas Day.
  • Festive Meals: Jollof rice, pounded yam, goat meat, and “small chops” like puff-puff and samosas.
  • Fashion: Coordinated Ankara outfits—families compete for the most stylish look!
  • Father Christmas: Children eagerly await gifts from Baba Christmas, often at parties or community events.
  • Decorations: Homes, malls, and streets sparkle with lights and ornaments.

How Does This Compare to Western Traditions?

  • Family: Both cultures value togetherness, but Nigeria emphasizes large village reunions.
  • Food: Western tables feature turkey and pies; Nigerian feasts are spicy and diverse.
  • Fashion: Cozy sweaters in the West vs. bold, elegant attire in Nigeria.
  • Santa vs. Father Christmas: Sleigh and reindeer vs. dancing in vibrant prints.
  • Decorations: Both love lights and trees, but Nigerian celebrations add music and color everywhere.

One thing I love to do is eat on Christmas. I love to make Jollof rice with a nice crunchy salad and then top it off with a sweet and delicious Puff-Puff. I inherited these recipes, but I will gladly pass them on. They’re like little yummy donuts and they’re great to leave Santa. Here is the recipe:

To make Puff Puff, follow these steps:

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Falling Into The Beauty of Autumn

By Luz Chiara Atoyebi

Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite month of the year? Why?

I love the month of November. It’s generally the time when the leaves begin to change color and thoughts of the holidays dance around in our minds. I especially love Thanksgiving. Over the last decade I have significantly scaled down my festivities. I did this for various reasons. One, I needed to in order to reconnect to the true meaning of the holiday which is to , not outdo my family members in the kitchen, but to enjoy the day and have a good meal. Two, I really started to order in takeout. Ordering in takeout on Thanksgiving has been a game changer for me. No more stressing about picky eaters or anti-social family members. I can grab what everyone wants, lay it out, then relax, For those of us that cook, it can be a stressful time. But, not when you order in. The only thing that’s missing is that certain, je nais se quois, that’s the love of a homecooked meal.

November is also a spiritual month as well. It is as perfect time to remember those family and friends that are no longer with us. It’s also a time to remember that, the most important aspect of the holidays is love. Just being with people you care about is a blessing, in my opinion. There are people that do not have anyone to spend time with on the holidays. Others don’t like their choices and would rather just be alone. Politics have been particularly stressful and people have allowed the media to separate them on a difference of opinion. I will admit, I will permanently look at some people differently after the way that acted this past year. It could never be the same. This last political cycle, especially for those with money and jobs on the line, showed a whole side of themselves that needed to be kept locked away. At this point, the grins and handshakes are tenuous,—I’d only break bread with one eye open. On the flip side, there is a certain strength and resolve that has arisen from remaining true to oneself during this season. But, I won’t judge you if protecting your peace is far more important than anything else. There’s nothing wrong with spending it alone, but there are other ways to do it. For example, you can start a Friendsgiving tradition.

Some of my best days around the holiday were spent with my friends. However, I personally like to go home during Thanksgiving or even host because it’s the one time of year I make and indulge in the world famous Patti Labelle Mac and Cheese. If you haven’t had it, I highly recommend it. You’ll sleep like a baby afterward.

November is the month that’s considered the quiet before the storm. It’s the time to rest, rejuvenate, and prepare for the year ahead. It’s been a busy year, why not take a break and wind down? This month, I am getting a new arsenal of board games to play with my kids, I am getting back into reading and overall, I am simply meditating and enjoying the changes in the weather. I won’t be doing a lot of holiday parties this year either. I’ve really been in my solo vibe and it has been an experience all its own. I love it. If you haven’t had that time in life where it’s just you and God, I highly recommend it. It’s life changing. It will open spiritual doors that no one can shut and rearrange the way you see yourself, others, and life. Who knows what next year will bring, but this year, I started with love and I will end on the same note.

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Forgiveness Is Immediate But Healing Takes Time So Let’s Bridge The Gap With Culture And Tradition Like Aunt Caroline

Written By: Chiara Luz Atoyebi

Aunt Caroline Dye Photo In The Public Domain

When it comes to African Americans taking control of their lives in any way that appears to reflect autonomy it becomes threatening. People coloring outside of the lines, going off of the beaten path, attempting to live outside of “groupthink” can appear suspect. However, a visionary’s job is to see what is coming and therefore it takes a few discerning individuals to be able to follow the signs of them that believe.

I have been on my spiritual path since the age of twelve. It began to shift into high gear at 13 and every five years thereafter. This last five years has been quite mind blowing in terms of intel and has caused me to finally answer the call by incorporating the wisdom of various interreligious elders with similar experiences as mine.

Pictured above is Aunt Caroline Dye. She was a 19th century healer, hoodoo woman, rental property investor, soothsayerrootworker and conjuror from Arkansas. She was more like a prophet than a fortune teller and she used playing cards to keep her concentration straight. I have mentioned before in my writings, that it was a woman like this, and La Madama, that appeared in my home with a cleaning item ( a broom) pointing to cards on a shelf for me. At the time, I denied them. I was scared. Also, I felt it went against my beliefs. But as I studied the narratives of enslaved people in Puerto Rico, the Caribbean, the Sea Islands of America, Virginia, and the Carolinas–my people–we were the medicine women. We were the people with the answers. The people you don’t touch, even to this day. The day I touched my playing cards for myself, the sky looked brighter.

Since then, I have come into a oneness of self. I didn’t need to be “taught,” everything simply came to me. That’s the spirit of my heritage I am most proud of and a large part of what continues to change my countenance. I also believe that we need to be open spiritually and grounded in morality in order to discern and perceive resources and opportunities correctly. If not, we will continue to spin the wheel as we have always done. The salt of the Earth has produced many fruits but has eaten none and it’s time that has changed.

I love to travel and live in other countries. But there is no place like home. There is no place like America. As Americans, we are in the best place for opportunity. We are in the ripest season to rewrite and reshare all of the international dishes and cuisines at the table of opportunity and narrative history. The opportunity is here and the harvest is here. But, many of us are looking at the food and we can’t eat it. We can’t pick it up. We need to be reeducated and things need to be paced out. But first we have to clear our blocks and break our binds–daily. Every single day. That is why forgiveness is instant but healing takes time.

Although this work is not easy it is not necessarily arduous and you can have a good time doing it with family, culture and traditions. Remember these quotes by Mary Church Terrell and John F. Kennedy Jr.: “Lifting As We Climb” and “One person can make a difference, everyone should try.” Yes, that’s how I see it sometimes.

The Conjure Woman, by Charles W. Chestnutt is an interesting read. One that could almost echo todays societal voices.

The ancestors don’t desire for me to be as earthy as they were, but they do want me to help people as they did. Aunt Caroline drew people from all races to her seeking her wisdom and council. Many from over 400 miles away. I already get requests. Many more formal than I did in the past, and I like to imagine Aunt Caroline and many others watching over me.

Daily writing prompt
What aspects of your cultural heritage are you most proud of or interested in?

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The Hardest Goodbye I had To Say Was To My Five-Year Old

If I was any different than I am now, I honestly don’t remembfer. In my opinion if you met me within that last three years, it’s the better version, and we can go from there.

February 22 would have been my daughter’s 11th birthday. I only just now thought of it in terms of years passing. I also realized that this month was ok. I am doing quite well in a way that feels authentic. I am not putting on an affectation to present myself as something; I actively count my blessings. I’ve probably been here before. (Actually, I’m sure I have.)
It’s kind of like anticipating getting off the train, but there are a few more stops to go–but you want to be there already.

Going out, being with friends, moving about the world, and taking risks has been the best medicine. I had moments of being irritable that I immediately attributed to the fact that my daughter’s birthday was passing. But I count my blessings because I have not only felt my memory returning, but I’ve also felt grounded and even emotionally generous. All of this growth signifies that my changes are sticking.

Have you ever wondered about the heaven in the sky?

Have you ever wondered where do we go when we die? I never truly pondered this question because I’d always taken what was told to me at church at face value. I simply believed that all souls go to heaven after purgatory and ultimately we all worship at the footstool of the big throne in the sky. It wasn’t until I’d spent time at hospices and dealt with the reality of my own child’s passing that I began to inquire and encounter something that felt like it moved beyond fiction. It would during times of deep comtemplation, many of which I wrote about two years ago, that

NO ONE EVER REALLY DIES

Losing my daughter to a brain tumor was difficult. It was a sobering goodbye. More importantly, it made a person like me, who has been a lifelong Believer, leading by example, understand that I am human. Even though it is hard to understand, I really know what it’s like to be chosen because through suffering and complete surrender is where you will get the gift. Oftentimes, that’s when you are still enough and alone and broken enough to receive the keys to your real freedom: True Love. Love is power. There is no force more powerful.

A few hours before she took her last breath, I turned up her oxygen and imagined that she would have to keep breathing if the air was flowing through her lungs, but that was just one last effort to hold her. But my heart was ok with it all. I cherished every moment and took advantage of every resource to make memories, which also gave me peace. Although she was the one doing the heavy lifting with her diagnosis, she turned me into a warrior

It was just her and me, and it was also peaceful. If that means anything to anyone who may read this–your loved one begins to go before you see it. If you are lucky, you will be able to feel the “spirit,” or what I believe is a holy, benevolent, and peaceful spirit, fill the room. When this happens, you can see what it means when people say, “you come in to the world alone, and you go out alone.” Not only is it powerful to witness, but, it will give you a different perspective on life–you become fearless.

WOMAN LOST AND RUNS AWAY TO FORGET HER PAST

In reality I didn’t run, at least not physically, but I absolutely was not fully present. My memory, like my emotions, would go in waves. It took lots of painting to understand that I was grieving although I felt good. That I was more truamatized over watching the suffering and dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of cancer. The pain of feeling helpless and the pressure to be strong for others but even stronger for myself.

Not only did I learn that I am calm under pressure but I had the ability to carry others on my back during tragedy. I learned that when you surrender to your human limitations you access an unseen power. Like Maya Angelou describes our eyes open with a new clarity. For me, the eyes of my understanding first opened to compassion for me and others which is why I largely felt immense gratitude and hypersensitivity for years. It was through making papercrafts, collages, paintings and ceramics that I have learned what the root cause of so many things are for me.

The Otherside of This

Shortly after my daughter Calais passed, I had an intense desire to see where she went. I wanted heaven to be proven to me. I wanted to be shown the place where she went if it was real.

But I feel that through meditation and sheer spiritual pleading, I was shown the cosmos, and I could feel the energy. Although I could only go so far up, I felt this connection to stardust and the galaxy, and then this feeling of love washed over me, although I never saw my daughter out there physically. Yet when we talk about it from the “dust we come and the dust we return,” I feel they are referencing the cosmos.
And each day that I am painting and sewing, I tap into that energy. This practice also helps me write.

Ascending Into The Forever

When my daughter began to wind down and transition, she talked a lot about the moon. Then she saw her grandparents in her room. Finally, she said that Santa was coming and the last time she saw him he was with Mrs. Claus, and she said they had a present for me. All of this explaining to me and watching her gently ascend allowed me to feel so much peace. It was goodbye, yes, and it’s still beyond my comprehension. Yet, it never felt final because I saw her in my dreams. It felt like more of ellipses because she sent me her twin (my daughter Monarch).

So when you try to explain the inexplicable, it’s ok to know that sometimes you can’t. Knowing that you don’t have all the answers and that life can be senseless –signals the beginnings of true understanding.


Although it can be difficult, I learned from volunteering at a hospice and watching my grandparents transition that it is way more beautiful where they are going. They will tell you that if they see it. Although they are not with you in their flesh, they are probably right there with you, and you can feel them. So, even though my goodbye has been ongoing, in many ways, it still feels like she never left.

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#TBT Navigating Loss: Lessons from Grief and Art Therapy

Original Artwork by Chiara Luz circa 2018

Look closely at the image what do you see? This was one of my first collages in 2018 from an art therapy class when words had failed me after dealing with my daughter’s cancer and ultimately death. When I look back this small innocent collage said so much. This is the power of art as therapy.  What you can’t see are the words from the cartoon of the family at the dinner table where the mom says,” I think I am going to get an apartment,” and the husband has kind of a non-response. 

Thoughts: 

Sometimes you crave a fresh start but feel tethered by those you love. It’s not easy. Life strips away illusions, yet gratitude can reignite hope. My strongest bonds were forged through struggle and loss. Grief felt like coming back from a war.

During my daughter’s cancer, I faced countless challenges that prepared me for her passing. Looking back through my journals, I saw that surrender was essential—not giving up on her but accepting what I couldn’t control. Releasing the need to save her let me truly support her and witness her light. During this time my writing reflected more of my inner battles than her treatments.

I thought keeping peace at home might keep her here, and blamed myself when she worsened, but her life had its own path. Cancer made us practical: I focused on creating normalcy, my then-husband on financial stability. Neither role was glamorous, both exhausting. At the time, I felt we should “uplift” each other more. Today I understand that it was the fight that drained us.  It’s devasting to lose someone you love.

It is the fight that signifies the love and also a struggle I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Later I learned that it was love, not duty, that sustained us. Love shows up when quitting feels easier and  it’s often found in simply being present. I quit drinking long before her death, knowing alcohol wouldn’t help. Faith and meditation gave me strength I never imagined. I told myself over and over: I will not die. I am loved.

Through loss, I learned love’s freedom. In her final year, my mission was clear: show up and love her. Love demands sacrifice—a truth we often avoid. Ask yourself: Who shows up for you? Time brings clarity. While making a small art piece, I saw life’s cycle and remembered to keep believing. Love endures, hopes, and acts boldly in uncertainty. Who do you love?

However, on the flip side of this knowing I could never fully love someone who loved the world more than their soul. I explored this concept in my story “A Time of War: Two Nations One Heart.” I guess I am just a person that looks to God for my validation and less from the people and things outside of me to tell me that I belong. So, when random people from state to state would ask me Chiara Luz, “Quienes tu familia?” now I know. I now know that all of my lack, my pain, my loss were ultimately things that I would survive whether I wanted to or not. Because I have done so and remain smiling, hopeful, and with my integrity intact I know what true love is. “Dios es Amor.”

Note: Make a collage. Write what matters. Stay open. Don’t judge yourself. See what emerges. Revisit it often.