Original Artwork by Chiara Luz circa 2018
Look closely at the image what do you see? This was one of my first collages in 2018 from an art therapy class when words had failed me after dealing with my daughter’s cancer and ultimately death. When I look back this small innocent collage said so much. This is the power of art as therapy. What you can’t see are the words from the cartoon of the family at the dinner table where the mom says,” I think I am going to get an apartment,” and the husband has kind of a non-response.
Thoughts:
Sometimes you crave a fresh start but feel tethered by those you love. It’s not easy. Life strips away illusions, yet gratitude can reignite hope. My strongest bonds were forged through struggle and loss. Grief felt like coming back from a war.
During my daughter’s cancer, I faced countless challenges that prepared me for her passing. Looking back through my journals, I saw that surrender was essential—not giving up on her but accepting what I couldn’t control. Releasing the need to save her let me truly support her and witness her light. During this time my writing reflected more of my inner battles than her treatments.
I thought keeping peace at home might keep her here, and blamed myself when she worsened, but her life had its own path. Cancer made us practical: I focused on creating normalcy, my then-husband on financial stability. Neither role was glamorous, both exhausting. At the time, I felt we should “uplift” each other more. Today I understand that it was the fight that drained us. It’s devasting to lose someone you love.
It is the fight that signifies the love and also a struggle I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Later I learned that it was love, not duty, that sustained us. Love shows up when quitting feels easier and it’s often found in simply being present. I quit drinking long before her death, knowing alcohol wouldn’t help. Faith and meditation gave me strength I never imagined. I told myself over and over: I will not die. I am loved.
Through loss, I learned love’s freedom. In her final year, my mission was clear: show up and love her. Love demands sacrifice—a truth we often avoid. Ask yourself: Who shows up for you? Time brings clarity. While making a small art piece, I saw life’s cycle and remembered to keep believing. Love endures, hopes, and acts boldly in uncertainty. Who do you love?
However, on the flip side of this knowing I could never fully love someone who loved the world more than their soul. I explored this concept in my story “A Time of War: Two Nations One Heart.” I guess I am just a person that looks to God for my validation and less from the people and things outside of me to tell me that I belong. So, when random people from state to state would ask me Chiara Luz, “Quienes tu familia?” now I know. I now know that all of my lack, my pain, my loss were ultimately things that I would survive whether I wanted to or not. Because I have done so and remain smiling, hopeful, and with my integrity intact I know what true love is. “Dios es Amor.”
Note: Make a collage. Write what matters. Stay open. Don’t judge yourself. See what emerges. Revisit it often.
