Should I Stay Or Should I Go? It’s All In The Cards

What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?

The hardest decision I feel anyone has to make is should they let go of a relationship. In the media, letting go of relationships is posited as an easy thing to do. Simply let go of it and move on.

Yet, is that the correct way to go about building sustainable partnerships? In life, we all have to make some tough decisions. Especially when it comes to love and family. In Matthew 7, this passage is all about judgements, patience, and trust.

There is so much in life that we do not know, but this passage talks about being who you desire to be in life and also waiting on the Lord to use you. Through this use, you will become a light of change and hence cause change within the other person.

There are many spiritual texts that speak to this truth. The truth is, we are the light unto each other. Leaving a situation always feels like the quickest way to expedite healing. However, it can be more like a band-aid to a deeper problem. One time, while in a particularly frustrating relationship that suffered from pervasive communication breakdowns, I wanted to run for the door screaming. I just didn’t feel it needed to be “so hard.” Ultimately I did leave. I even went to therapy after. That’s the responsible thing to do I felt.

The therapist didn’t tell me much that I didn’t already know. Nor did I really need the validation of being right. I wanted to be better overall. Well, as I move into this work of healing, arts, and veneration of the saints—I am in full understanding that talking won’t always get us the deep stuff. The deep stuff is a spiritual endeavor and needs to be addressed with spiritual tools.

When I left that relationship I still, with all of my newfound knowledge, walked into a carbon copy of my previous relationship. On a communication level it began great and ended up even worse over the years. Has that ever happened to you?

You can exercise justice without of sight and out of mind action—but healing and transformation are constant actions that we are undergoing. Good, strong foundations take time to erect. The only way you know that they are good is that they have been tested.

If you ever find me on TikTok when I am doing a live session. I am reading playing cards as a method of opening up blocked pathways and finding out what is hidden. A lot of times what I unearth or what we unearth together is so deep that you may reject it. Most people reject truth until they have a moment to play around with the cards and put together their story. Technically I don’t need cards to “read” a person. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

But if we started talking and I told you deep things about yourself or I was speaking casually and it resonated too closely—you’d be scared or off-put. So in essence, cards provide a fourth wall of interaction. I also wonder if this is something women turn to because they can’t technically become priests within the Catholic Church. Since I am a devout Catholic, that would be me.

After I know what is blocked, it’s easier to align a healing method. This is important because your spiritual well being is synonymous with how well your home environment and life in general thrives. A thriving environment within allows you to make different choices when evaluating your relationships as well.

Returning to the example of Matthew 7, it speaks to not judging. Also, the gospels as a whole speak to waiting and then beholding what will be a victory. The victory that we are waiting for is the validation that what we have been shown and told by God will not come back void. That we did indeed receive a promise and we won’t be made fools of. Being made a fool of is rooted in ego. It is what the world uses to lure you out of humility and into idolatry. I can attest from experience, that providence can outpace and overpower and stronghold if you dig your heels in and believe in it.

In terms of relationships. You can’t make someone love you. I know people that have worked all forms of magic on a person to get them to stay and they wind up with a vegetable on the couch, an angry individual, or someone who is a shell of themselves. You have to decide if that is what you want. Forgiveness is often an apology away, but again, you can’t make healing come faster or love come quicker or harder. To force it is rooted in ego. However, you can go off into non judgment and better yourself. You can give something time and space and if it’s yours it returns. If it doesn’t, there is your answer. All answers are slow to manifest. All answers make manifest as non linear. But if you trust God then you don’t manipulate, you present yourself as the thing you want. That comes from loving you. When you love you and focus on your happiness, is there ever a wrong decision? No. You are too busy being in love.

So when I think about leaving or staying in any situation that could significantly alter ny life I try to think long term. I recalibrate my interests and give myself space. More importantly, I access my spiritual toolbox through prayer, going out in nature, writing rituals and creating. I like to know what my ancestors above and below have for me.

Most answers require patience. Life requires patience. Good things take time.

When it comes to this tough decision it’s important to take all the time you need. Don’t rush your plans. Don’t run, unless you feel you have to. Don’t betray yourself, your values, and your words.

I have spent many years, some very recently, betraying myself, dishonoring the use of my gifts, and even playing close to the line on my beliefs. In life sometimes you must draw a hard line in the sand. You may have to dig your heels in and heal where you are. You may need to heal in an uncertain time, or uncomfortable situation, before you get the green light for your new beginning. If you do it that way, there will be no need to move forward with old ideas and baggage. Heal your initial work place, friendship, marriage etc. with a ritual of active forgiveness—then walk away in love. Or stay, because your light may even change a dark place and strike a chord of understanding within individuals.

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