Last year, I took a brave leap into the wild world of taxes, tackling both my business and personal ones for the very first time! It was like diving into a whirlpool of stress and discovery. It really did change my perspective on everything. Filing taxes feels like an immersive crash course in “America 101″—where you learn the ins and outs of industry classifications and sharpen your financial acumen.
Surprisingly, only a select few tackle their own taxes—but doing so feels like cracking open a treasure chest packed with real-world lessons in civics, business, and law. It’s everyday life turned into a masterclass. As much as I cherish formal education, I’ve discovered an entire universe of free knowledge just begging to be explored. A few years ago, when I was dabbling in selling houses, I felt that earning my real estate license gave me that “I’m officially adulting” feeling—especially diving into ethics. But learning the ins and outs of taxes? That was the real transformation. It reshaped how I handle money and responsibility, leveling me up in ways no classroom ever could.
So, if you haven’t tried preparing your own taxes you should. Additionally, I am a great listener. I have been around enough lawyers in New City during tax time and I learned a lot. Sadly, none of the cheat codes applied to me, but I have them in my mental rolodex for a rainy day. I was once asked if I ever regretted not jumping on an opportunity. Looking back, I would say leaving finance. I had really bad imposter syndrome because I was counting on my fingers and overspending at the sushi bar. It’s too late now. (and yes, it is) but I love the things that finance teaches you.
Embarking on tough tasks whether they are successful or not– is a reminder that you can do anything you set your mind too.
When I first started my writing collective a few years back, I chose the name Kambili. It means “let me live.” I felt it was perfect. I was living in a world where I was being focused on at a granular level and that’s alot. Yet, I have lived enough life to know that there are people who feel an innate need to tell others how to live despite being reproached.
For me harmony is achieved when everyone is respectfully giving their opinion and sharing feelings and ultimately minding their business and letting other people live. In 2019, I gave up gossiping. Right after that I did my best to remove the things that were erected as idols in my life. Those two actions cleared out pretty much everyone in my life. That’s sad and scary when you think about it.
To be clear, I really only had one gossip partner, but she was, and is, the queen bee of it. We all have these people in our lives. For the most part it’s innocent, but I had to permanently let it go. Gossip puts in motion unforeseen tragedies that often boomerang back in the form of karma. Most people don’t know that’s what’s happening though. When I did that, it created a peace within me that has been unwavering. I largely focus on the tasks at hand and the joy in my circle. Harmony is best when you do you and I do me, and when it feels right, we can do us. I am ok to lose out in some situations and win in others. But all people need the space to express themselves and to simply be. We are here to love and to express ourselves in the unique way that God intended and will often upset the apple cart if those ideations are obstructed. Remember, one person’s harmony is another person’s overbearing—therefore walking away or taking turns being quiet is best.
Growing up I was very impulsive. Like hop in cars and on planes on a whim, and even down to get engaged because: I-felt -like it–impulsive. Looking back, I never really had a bunch of regrets because I was so caught up in the moment. Which can be good. Living in the moment is a constant reminder that today is really the only day that’s promised and so you live it full out. I tend to believe I was always following my heart and passions and that my gut checks were largely right. I have no regrets when I look back on life. It was definitely full force ahead.
Well, I did have my blind spots. The only place I never seem to follow my instincts full out is when it comes to love. You know that reckless abandon that makes you want to run towards someone and never look back? Yeah, that’s always been scary for me. I mean, what if I fall in love myself? Kind of like what ended up happening over and over any way–but that’s another story for another time.
I think the best relationships don’t worry about the fall out, or maybe they do worry about it and don’t care, either way it’s a gamble. You never can tell what’ll happen on the crazy, sexy, outrageous train of love.
There is another side to making strange gut decisions, and that is feeling something and ignoring it. How many times, have you felt like,” this person is sooo perfect. Wait, no they’re too perfect…let me check out someone a bit more flawed or familiar?” That’s actually trauma. That’s an unhealed area of life and maybe even a revelation on allowing television and social media to shape your relationships.
The correct choice was probably the person that you may have had to take a leap of faith with. Maybe they weren’t that exciting but they made you laugh or they studied you intently when you spoke. Maybe they were the person that made you lose track of time, or you feel safe, when you’re used to feeling reckless.
Or when it comes to love and relationships you can be so detached from your sacral and root chakras, and detached from the truth of who you are, and what you want, that you decide to just date someone’s resume. That way, you know you won’t make a mistake. It’s a quiet kept secret but men do this too. They often go towards someone’s resume and what their parents want and fully ignore what makes they happy. Later on down the line they find themselves suffering in silence over the one that got away.
“Reflections of You” (2021) Korean Drama
That kind of love that has your stomach twisted in knots, but is forbidden on so many levels, is depicted so well in the Korean drama “Reflections of You”. I have never seen two people look so miserable apart, and while one stays attached to the one he was loyal to from the beginning and the other lives her best painter life but has an empty marriage, it is an ongoing cat-and-mouse chase of self-denial and unnecessary hell. They both could have kept their smiles and become the artists they were born to be had they simply stayed together. But loyalty called them both, and they paid for it royally. Don’t get me wrong I would done the same thing and have done the same thing, but we are looking at the road less travelled during the road to reconstructing the self.
It’s a position where you have to ask yourself what is more important: instinct or loyalty? It’s a difference between the devil you know and the devil you don’t know.
Needless to say, if this was a easy cut and dry topic, there wouldn’t be so many relationship podcasts out there pondering the subject. Following your instincts are for those who are willing to take big risks for a big reward. Oftentimes, it calls for going against tradition and even coming up against naysayers. What would you do? Do you often follow your instincts? Or do you follow them in some instances and not in others?
My goal for life going forward is to take on the courage of my spiritual guides and advisors. I plan to go big or go home. I may seem to be taking baby steps, but in my mind I am leaping forward. How about you?
I don t know about you, but since the pandemic, I have seemed to struggle with time. Not necessarily time management when it comes to completing tasks but arriving at places in person on time. What makes it even more of a challenge is that I am pretty comfortable working remotely. Unfortunately, I don’t see myself, especially as an entrepreneur, making a permanent switch to working in person. I am of the mindset that more work gets done in isolation. Yet, I am venturing out again into the world socially, and on the outside, time does matter. Not everyone wants to stay within their own four walls forever. As I started going out more, I found that I was often met with closed doors and canceled reservations because I was late.
Monochronic and Polychronic Cultural Views of Time
Differing cultural views can have an effect on how we see time. In Western society, people are often judged on their ability to be timely. We tend to follow along with and thrive best within a linear, monochronic society. Linear thinking follows a straightforward, cause-and-effect pattern. It assumes that events progress in a predictable, step-by-step manner. Additionally, monochronic cultures like ours, value timeliness when it comes to work, structured workdays, and individual accountability. These characteristics are valued in employees as well as in leadership.
However, this highly structured work environment can create burnout in people. It can be rigid and devoid of flexibility, leaving people feeling discontent and searching for life’s balance. On the other hand, cultures that are polychronic, such as those in the Middle East, tend to have work environments that allow for interruptions, breaks, and social interactions. Employees may engage in multiple tasks simultaneously. While this style of interaction can promote relationship building and greater team focus due to flexible schedules, efficiency can become an issue. I can attest to the latter. Efficiency, takes on many forms and criticisms, especially in a society where productivity can be boosted by AI. I believe that although some work and even employees may not be as timely, as other hard-driving producers, they tend to bring a distinct value that is necessary. Think quality or quantity due to honoring the natural flow of life. We could place them in a category of non-linear thinkers. These individuals tend to take a more holistic viewpoint of life, seeing the system as a whole rather than just isolated parts – they are our creatives and visionaries.
My issues with time date back to childhood. I was the kid they had to move away from the window due to my lack of focus and incessant day dreaming. My parents were in the military and I while I was often punished for my lateness, it seemed to create an adverse reaction to rigid time restrictions in me. I became rebellious instead of focused. At times, I have found myself missing out on time with friends, my yoga classes, and even some important deadlines due to my causal relationship with time. Over the last six months I have worked diligently to get back on the wagon in regard to time and I am seeing great improvements. I still tend to display a Laissez fare attitude towards time every now and then, I have learned to slay this dragon by considering the time of others. When I am late, it also affects others, and that is not a good feeling. Additionally, when you’re on time you can casually walk into a building, orient yourself, and begin your day with ease. When you are late you are rushing, anxious and often wind-up apologizing.
The moral of the story is: Leave early, be on time, and consider yourself and others in the process.
