Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.
When I think about a man who has positively impacted my life, it’s hard to pick just one. I’ve met lots of gentlemen in my life. It’s the reason I know they exist and they can be difficult to find. A characteristic that I appreciate the most in men, outside of kindness, is wisdom. Believe it or not, wisdom is hard to come by. You can find intelligence, but wisdom is a bit more difficult.
I grew up in a two-parent household with my stepfather who raised me. I actually felt he was hard on me most times, and that made me angry growing up. But, when I think about how I present myself to the world in professional situations, how I interview well, how to persevere, and how to tap into my feminine side—that came from my dad.
I think it’s a misconception that strong women have no men in their life. It’s actually quite the opposite. I like to tell the story of how my dad taught me to drive and he took me to get my learner’s and I failed because I couldn’t parallel park. So he told me to wear something “better” and flash a bright smile so I could pass my test the next time. Well, let’s just I passed the next time with flying colors!
My dad was a wellspring of advice. His famous line of, “boys only want the cookies without the milk” to when I was down telling me to “do what I got to do to make it through” and then buying me jewelry always brightened my day. I didn’t always get gifts but I got a lot. It made me appreciate nice things and that’s important to experience.
My biological father was brilliant as well. I didn’t grow up with him and I actually reconnected with him in adulthood, but he made me feel special. Maybe because we looked so much alike. He was someone blessed with a with a wellspring of ideas. He always had new ideas, each one better than the next. He reminded me of Walter Younger from A Raisin In The Sun. Sort of like a giant among ants. Throughout my life, I have had spiritual fathers of different races that felt compelled to take me under their wing over the years and I believe it’s part of the reason my mind is so expansive. I am a good listener and I listen to everything that wise people impart.
I’m so quiet, I think they forget I’m there, but I have sat at some powerful tables listening and often taking notes.
I only have had two challenging relationships in my lifetime. Overall, I have been treated well in love. I don’t have a ton of people to compare it to but the challenging relationship had an imbalance of feminine energy.
I am more on the soft side as a default but I have toughened up over the last few years. I am not a woman that understands men naturally, I actually learned the mind of man from having a teenage son.
All I hear about day in and day out is his “manhood.” That always makes me smile. I also see the way his little sister adores him and how much he adores her. They are my inspiration when I think of a good give and take. One of my favorite things about my son is his ability to express himself, say he is sorry, and remember your favorite things.
So when I think about a man who positively impacted my life I can’t think of simply one. But I think about that loyal, encouraging, wise, and even at times funny, characteristic that runs through them all.
