The Aesthetic Project:The Church, The School, The Hospital

Ten years ago I was given a big dream. I kept it to myself because there was really no one to share it with.  But the dream is a testament to how life is ordered if you pay attention. The dream was largely inspired by constant visitations to my church, my kids’ school, and Children’s hospital.

In those days, I had little ones with varying health challenges

I was constantly assisting with therapies and meeting with doctors, and I did a lot of praying. In all honesty, I just wanted it to stop. Alot of it felt like running in place. I did get good information, but the execution and additional research is what made the most difference. I wanted normalcy, and I was also deeply afraid of hospitals and clinics during that time. My hospital phobia was a carryover from my parents working in the hospital while I was growing up.  Yet, every week I was there. I was always in a place that brought me down. It didn’t matter how nice everyone was—I was like, why meeee?

There is nothing fun about poor health. It’s the reason why I am passionate about being in a good mood. In those days, I wore an iron  clad mask. I just was a ball of anger, probably at God, but I directed some of it at my spouse because I was confused at how I went from an easy, breezy life to feeling so helpless. It had to be the city. It had to be because I was not doing something. Maybe I was disobedient in my faith..on and on.

It was just my life. 

But during those hard times, I was given a large dream of something to fix. I wanted Children’s Hospital to get a fancy face-lift like the University of San Francisco’s hospital, where my middle child had her cancer treatment. There my daughter was able to enjoy the new outdoor space they erected in 2017, but she was gone not too long after. What I loved is that throughout all of the space in San Francisco was colorful artwork, family spaces, and healthy food choices. Perhaps before I leave this Earth, I will see that at Children’s hospital here. It takes money for innovation. These are big endeavors that need big endowments. My church was my safe haven. My son used to struggle to eat. I used to pray all over the city just to have him eat like a normal child. I’m proud to report that today he does. This is alot of stress on a family, as you can imagine, but colors work wonders when you’re down.

It has taken me such a long time to even fully remember how many obstacles and challenges we have overcome. But we did it, and survived.

We often try to avert the struggle. At least I know I did. When I used to live on an island in Saipan, my friend said to me, “girl it’s ok to feel disappointed.” I responded. “But I’m good.” And as the story goes, I would encounter challenges that would make me feel like I was drowning. If that’s you, I strongly advise you getting out some wood, paints, paper and pencils and draw something. There are some emotions words can’t touch.

That’s where school comes in. The dream of a good school. One that reflects the wisdom I have received in life and the creative spirit of transformation. Clearly I am one person.  But I have learned how this all works and maybe this dream will come together for a lot of people who have been desiring the same thing in the same space. With a beautiful environment we can do great things. The Mormon church has an entire document that talks about the care of the home. Although I am not Mormon, I was inspired by the text. Environment matters and I would be OK with  living in one of the most beautiful cities in the world.